Hi peoples
... Man these things are hard to start...
Jimmy Recard is my fake name on here because it said not to use my real name. I'm a 36 year old guy still stuck in the 90's. I have had Anxiety, panic problems, quite bad depression, and depersonlisation since my teens.
When I was 16 I had a series of panic attacks (panic disorder) mainly brought on by myself with alcohol and not eating enough, then being too sick to eat. This lasted for a whole summer, I couldn't go anywhere without getting very dizzy, then panicking. I then stayed at home a LOT that summer, which even without panic attacks, for a 16 year old very active young dude, is hell! When going back into school and schedule the next year I found it helped a lot, but formed lots of fun little phobias, and I then ended up failing school and just leaving. Finding work after that, I was starting to progress and was able to push through a lot of mental barriers. I then found work at a very stressful workplace, which paid good money though, I easily went into a rut of ... I guess emotional eating, binge drinking, the usual. The stress built up wayyy too much, I eventually booked 2 weeks holidays, then on that holidays, my panic disorder started again when I stopped eating so much junk food, but then also not eating enough good food either. This time while I was driving my car, I was almost 2hours from home, not that long of a drive, but every minute of that drive was filled with panic, just because I wanted to get home.
My 20's were then filled with agoraphobia, major depression, depersonalisation, a bit of what seemed like psychosis. I couldn't get anywhere to get help, I had a mental barrier it seemed, that was about 500m from home. I had no job, no life, no goals, no ambition, no friends, no reason to wake up. For one part of a winter, I didn't bother going past my letterbox for about 2months because I didn't have the energy to put up with a panic attack that day from trying to keep pushing my barrier. This lasted about 10/11 years, and a few other problems along the way, long story finally shortened. I'm now mid 30's, only started SSRI's a couple years ago, which has helped HEAPS, but is not a full cure. I'm now trying to rebuild my life, find a job, and try kick some anxiety in the assface!
