Hello

[Redav]

Hello
I'll try and keep the introduction brief
I'm a 40+ Single Father of 2 and I am fairly sure I have Social Anxiety + Complications from Suppressing "issues" from school 25 yrs ago
Basically Both my Kids turned 18 within 13mths of each other, and my life didn't need to revolve around them 24/7 (and I know it shouldn't have, but it was the way I'd coped, put 100% into the kids so i didn't have to focus on me).
Basically as long as I didn't think or focus on me I was ok and could deflect using the kids.
I saw a psychologist 2 yrs ago and that helped for a brief time, but didn't resolve anything.

I have spent 20 years successfully, avoiding, deflecting and dodging awkward questions and situations.
And I'm here because I am sick of seeing "you need to see a mental health expert" at the bottom of quizzes and tests.

[Boo1986]

Hi Redav, or Vader backwards 🙂

If you do not want to see a psych again, these forums are a great place to express yourself and be understood. People here are very helpful and often have really good advice and are very compassionate. You might not find everything you need here and these people are all in the 'same boat' though their experiences are different, we aren't experts but can definitely still help.

I also have experience with anxiety and find that it is very difficult for me to talk to people, but it is much easier for me to write. Please feel free to use this space to be yourself and clear your head. I find it a great way to get some support and not feel so alone and isolated. Talking here can help you overcome anxiety by gradually exposing you to uncomfortable situations but with the care and support of all the other forum members.

I hope you find it as valuable as I have. There are heaps of resources too, the pinned posts at the top of each forum explain some great tips for good mental health and are well worth reading.

Keep in touch 🙂

[Wednesday]

Hi there Redav,

Oh I feel for you. You story sounded very familiar to me. I too put everything I had into my two and dam it they grew up and found lives of their own! Of course that is why we put all that work in, but losing a job is rotten isn't it?

I smiled when I read your statement

Redav said: I have spent 20 years successfully, avoiding, deflecting and dodging awkward questions and situations

. I only smiled because I am much the same, it is easier to hide, let others talk, avoid, deflect etc than deal with all those nasty bits hiding inside us. A coping mechanism that has been useful for us both but maybe not the best in the long run.

I'm really pleased you came to the forum it's non judgemental, anonymous and a great place to chat and work through things. There are many people with lots of experience to help out too. I've found the forum a life saver (literally). Come and chat tell us a bit more about yourself, trust me everyone here has a story, so you are in safe hands. Even if you just want to rant it's all okay.

Can I suggest that this is a good time to pick up that hobby you have wanted to do but never had time, pottery, music, sport, writing maybe? Ah ha, I know that excuse too... why yes you can, there are a heap of different ways to do things these days (grin).

Oh and just in case you haven't noticed there is also the chatline 1300 22 4636 available 24/7. So you are really not alone!

Take excellent care of you, your babies need you to still be their rock no matter how grown up they are. So you do really need to look after yourself.

Here's a little hug (I hope that is okay).