Dear AnneRa~
Welcome here to the Forum, it is a friendly and non-judgment place where you will find others prepared to share their experiences, and that can help a lot
You get to realize you are not alone and others can understand what you are going though, no need to start explanations from scratch.
I have an anxiety condition together with other things and developed irrational fears - one being my mailbox at the end of my driveway. I'd really have to screw up my courage to walk down and open it. Intellectually, like you, I was aware this mailbox was no threat, but also like you, logic sometimes simply does not help.
I even knew why I had this fear, it came from my previous occupation, but knowing and believing are two different things. Logic vs emotion.
I had (still have) medication and regular therapy, and that has made a world of difference but the mailbox was stubborn, maybe due to the severity of matters in the past.
I did get over it, and did so by trying to use my emotion, not explanations. I'm a avid reader and found a place where I could buy used library books for next to nothing. Of curse they arrived by post, and though I was hesitant (very hesitant to start with) the idea there might be something nice inside - a book I wanted - realy helped. Over time this anticipation won out and nowadays I've no fears of that particular box. A real win.
I'm not suggestion anything about your fears except they are very real to you, and tend to control you life -as they did mine. I would suggest you think if there is anything you can do to harness your emotions to make matters better.
Obviously I do not know your circumstances, what you are like or the problems you face, however I never thought I'd be able to conquer this fear - and I have.
I hope you can to. If you have family or friends you can talk to, not so they try to 'fix' things, but simply show care and are permanent in your life, that regular talk might give you ideas, comfort and perspective.
I'd like it if you could come back here and say more.
Croix
