Hello, introduction, and rant from a kid in an adult world

[Lascrea]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 16 y/o university student with severe stress and anxiety and mild depression, feeling lonely. I'm not very interesting so anyone reading this can stop here and I wouldn't blame you.

So much has happened this year and it's been terrifying, to say the least. Last year, when I cried over getting a 94% because it was under 95% which was not good enough, I thought the self-hate was justified and normal, and as for getting stressed before social occasions, I thought I was just shy. But before starting uni this year, I had a panic attack and saw a psychologist who told me I had social anxiety (least of my worries now). Tbh, I thought it was pathetic and laughed at myself for it. I thought I was a strong person and I couldn't believe how ridiculous I was (I do not mean to offend anyone with a mental illness, I just tend to find ways to beat myself down, I'm now also more educated on the matter). Semester one came and went, then semester two, the real nightmare, started. From group projects with people who made me feel like the only ppl in the group were Me, Myself, and I, to 'friends' who continuously disappointed me again and again, this semester has been the worst time of my life so far.

I've come to realise that I've been very naive my whole life and that the world is much much worse than I used to think. I have so many things to achieve in life and that keeps me moving, but I hate how my life is atm. I don't have enough space to pour out everything, but I'll mention some things that really hit home.

a month ago, I accidentally left a jacket in the library. When I went back for it a mere hour later, it was gone. All I thought of was whether the person who found it gave it to the library lost and found or gave it the university security. It didn't even occur to me that they might've taken it. But they did.

As mentioned in my first post, I'm struggling with my friendships. The only three 'close' friends I have are (1) my best friend whom I'm starting to hate (2) uni friend who makes me uncomfortable (3) a friend from high school who only replies to texts when she is bored or needs something from me. #3 fits the description of almost everyone I know: they use me for help with assignments bc they know I get good grades and the only real relationships I have are with my family and my dogs

The point of this post was originally to just say hi, got carried away haha! Hi everyone, I hope to meet some genuine ppl here, even if it's not in person.

[Lascrea]

Hi!

Maybe I'll try to talk to someone next time I go to the dog park. Clubs? I'd appreciate any advice.

[Mathy]

Im sorry LasCrea, it never occurred to me that Unis might have clubs that didn’t cater for <18yo students, my bad. Are you still living at home, or have you moved away to go to Uni? I guess, if you’re still at home that there is an awkward rift between someone who’s still in high school, and you at Uni, as far as friendship and studying goes?

Are you interested in politics or social justice type issues? If you give some sense of direction, we could offer some suggestions.

Sorry for that blunder, cheers M 🙂

[Lascrea]

No worries, no need to apologise!

I'm still living at home - was fortunate enough to be accepted into a uni just 20 minutes away. Apart from piano (which I can hardly perform in front of an audience without a panic attack), I haven't really had time to find things that interest me. I'm open to trying new things, so any suggestions are welcome. Thank you!