hello! feeling burnt out and looking for help

[blackdog1208]

Hey everyone. I'm 20 years old and am looking for some advice.

I feel I've used up all my energy. I don't enjoy things I used to, I have minimal motivation, my social life has dwindled and study is becoming overwhelming. Up until the past few months, I'd always been a high achiever, very determined, very ambitious and seemingly endless energy. Now I have no enthusiasm for anything. The drive and passion I used to have has disappeared, and every day drags on unless I'm with my boyfriend. I don't know who I am, what I want to achieve in life, or even what makes me happy (which is the polar opposite to what I used to be like). I'm constantly anxious, feeling down, crying or a mixture of the three. It's gotten to the point where it's preventing me from working, studying, and being able to relax / do 'normal' things.

For some context, I'm working two jobs and studying engineering part-time. I don't have much of a relationship with my family, but have a loving boyfriend and three trusted friends. All I do is work, study, go to gym, see my friends and boyfriend. Anything outside of that seems like a waste of time. I was seeing a psychologist a few months ago, but am looking to talk to someone again. I want to start enjoying life again, but don't know how.

Any help will be gladly appreciated.

[Doolhof]

Hi blackdog1208,

Welcome to the forum. It is good that you have recognised that you are feeling the way you do, now you can do something about it. When we decide there is no point and we have no motivation, it can be difficult to move forward.

It may be beneficial to find another psychologist to chat with who can help you to find a way to move forward again.

It may help each day to think of three things to be thankful for. They don't have to be huge things, even the ability to get out of bed is something to be thankful for.

Do you have hobbies or interests you enjoy that you can work on? Maybe find a new interest?

Have there been things in the past that have helped you through slumps? Can you try some of those ideas again?

Reaching out for support, help and ideas is a good way to create strategies to help you move forward.

All the best to you from Dools

[blackdog1208]

Thank you for your reply. Making a list of things I'm thankful for does help to brighten my day. I used to be very involved in school sport, dog training and gaming (nearly all of them I've stopped doing since leaving high school). So I will try picking up my old interests again to see how that goes.

[Pebblez]

Greetings! Doolhof has a good suggestion, although it sounds like you had better set aside time for refreshment in the diary - scheduling it in is a good way for those moments to actually happen.

There are many different types of therapies that psychologist employ in helping, they usually use a mixture and implement a plan that best suits the individual. One line of thinking which may help you, falls along the lines of REBT, in where 'burn out' can be labelled as 'exhaustion depression.' This is emotional overdraft where one is consuming more energy in their lives, than what they have available. I've listened to a seminar late last year where it was quoted “When your outgoings, exceed your incomings, the upkeep will be your downfall.” The amount of time it took to burn out, will roughly match the time it’ll take to recover from it. The speaker suggests to make a list of Incomings & Outgoings (what Energises & what Drains you). With the two-column list, place a weighting out of 10 on each one. Total each column to see whether the outgoings are outweighing the incomings.

You mentioned the tight knit group of supporters you have around you, explain to them your situation and engage them in helping you say 'no' to the bigger things that drain you. Then your load will be more than halved, but quartered (boyfriend & 3 trusted friends).

Pebblez.