Greetings

[Kpop38]

Hi,

Quick intro, I’m a 38yo male with a history of mental illness, anxiety and depression. It’s been a journey of discovery; one of myself and life in general. I never presume to be out of the woods or declare boldly I’m cured. I know at any moment life can take a turn and I can go from the mountain top to the valley in a blink. It’s quite damaging to ego and pride to suffer that fall so I guard myself by practicing humility.
Although the valley has the benefit over time of producing resilience and endurance, each valley offers new challenges but also opportunities to grow and become stronger. 
Gratitude has helped me appreciate the world around me during the highs and the lows.

It is an underestimated power, or at least was to me in the beginning. If you can appreciate life when you’re striking out; you can appreciate it even more when your hitting home runs. 

I hope to contribute to the community in sharing and also listening because it is difficult sometimes and we could all use more support at times. Cheers.

[therising]

Hi Kpop38

I am grateful for your post, something beautiful, soulful and inspiring. Such things are needed in life.

Being a gal who finds life to be a landscape, I can see what you speak of. We are cartographers, mapping unexplored territory while working out how to get through the tougher terrains. Some parts can't be navigated without guides, that's for sure. In the most confusing of places, great guides lead the way and offer tips. In the darkest of places, they shed light on what we need to see. I know there will be depressions in the future for me because the depressions or valleys are a part of the landscape. These days, I tend to not ask 'What's wrong with me, why am I experiencing a period in depression?', instead I wonder what the valley is really about. Why is it there? How did I come to it? How is it designed to challenge or test me? How and why am I suffering through it in the ways that I am? The list of questions on parts of our quest can seem endless at times. Each answer or revelation offers a step forward in the right direction. There are many mountains and valleys, not just one of each. There are many woods, not just one. There are areas of great ease and joy, just as there are ones of dis-ease and sorrow. While seemingly on a cliff's edge at times, it turns out to be the verge of great change, overlooking new and unexplored territory. A leap of faith is needed before our wings appear. There can be many forks on our path, with a sense of guilt as a signpost that heads some of them. The signpost of guilt asks for greater levels of consciousness, 'Who do you want to be from this moment forward, the kind of person who takes this path or that?'. Guilt is not a sign of sufferance, it is one that offers direction.

Suddenly elevated, with a bird's eye view of what could equate to a map from The Lord of The Rings, we see 'The Hero's Journey'. We have come far, with still so much to explore. We are travelers and I am one who is grateful to be crossing paths with you. Happy travels for today 🙂

[Kpop38]

Thanks for your warmest welcome Rising.

I see you are a fellow cartographer and pilgrim like myself. Nice to know I’m in like company. 
You have an amazing way with words I must add and a vivid imagination. I would have liked to of kept reading to see what followed but the story ended; but hopefully it’s just - to be continued….

Life is a journey indeed; full of perils but also excitement and adventure. Yours sounds like an Indiana Jones adventure - my favourite type. 

[therising]

Hi Kpop38

Thank you for the gift of the smile you brought to my face. I wish I was an Indiana Jones type of gal, a fearless adventurer. 😅

While the adventurer in me is excitedly screaming 'You're only 54, it's never too late. LET'S DO THIS!!!', it competes with the inner dialogue that can sound a little at times like 'You'll never do it, you're a safe player, a non risk taker and all talk'. Our inner demons can be depressing, non encouraging mongrels at times. Pays not to listen. This is my year, I can feel it. I've reached the conclusion that it's much better to add ventures than repeat the same old ventures over and over. Groundhog Day's not good for the soul. I'm determined to find an adventure buddy, maybe my sister. My husband's not the adventurous type. When I asked him some time ago 'What does our future look like together', his response what 'I just want us to grow old together'. I hope I get a laugh out of you when tell you my response to this was 'Dude, seriously, how depressing does that look?! Picture it, 2 people getting greyer and more wrinkly together. There's got to be more to life than that!'. I also advised him 'How about you grow old, if that's your plan, and I'll grow more young at heart'.

You've definitely triggered the adventurer in me. Thank you. I can hear it chatting away up there in my head. 'You're going to lose weight, become fitter than ever before, research places to go, save money like a legend so as to fund your new ventures and you're going to develop so much energy it will blow your mind'. Sounds like a plan. My inner adventurer is thrilled with the whole idea.

What about yourself? What ventures are you imagining adding to life? What's your inner adventurer suggesting? Perhaps it could be sounding a little like 'You have to go back here, to that place you long to return to, the one that led you to feel so happy/relaxed/excited/inspired/free'. Take your pick when it comes to what you want to feel. Perhaps you're considering a place that holds a recipe or set of ingredients of all positive mixed emotions (a dash of happiness, an ounce of relaxation, a dollop of excitement, a sprinkling of inspiration and a whole lot of freedom). Can be the kinda stuff we just can't find at home. 😊