Dear Happy_Soul~
I'd like to give you a warm welcome to the Forum, and hope you quickly feel at home. From you post I take it you are working, had a same-sex relationship and are studying - my apologies if I've misunderstood anything.
Not having good social relationships with acquaintances and friends can make one feel quite alone, and it is very easy to place a lot of emphasis on this. Feeling worthless does come to as a result but is misplaced. If others are rude or inconsiderate that is on them - not you.
You might not have been someone they thought of, however it can happen simply be not thinking and maybe one can take solace in other areas. You said your that some people were 'interested' in you, and that has to be a plus, even if you do not encourage them. I'm sorry the relationship with that woman came to an end, It can be heart-breaking but is never wasted, one learns from the experience. At 24 years old there is time for another, hopefully longer lasting encounter. I entered my long term relationship much later.
Being in a new country for only 15 months is itself a huge source of stress and that combined with relationship breakup and no one to support you as wel as the pressure of work could well be the reason you are possibly failing a subject. Can you explain your circumstances and get a deferral?
I agree that fear of homophobia can be a valid thing, and many are reluctance to show themselves to others. I would think the support of a strong partner might make all the difference if or when you decide to disclose.
If you want more information on this subject I'd suggest having a look at the QLIFE site (1800 184 527) - they also have webchat - from 3pm to midnight each day with resources, information and more
You did say you had distanced yourself from some friends for this reason, is there any hope that one or more may resume a friendship if you contacted them?
I would like it if you felt like coming back and talking some more, when here you are not alone
Croix
