Feeling totally lost

[GemmaJones]

Not sure where to begin... but history briefly is depression for many yrs, physical and sexual abuse as a child, narc ex and now anxiety has joined the team... it's becoming overwhelming as I don't know where to turn... hv had lots of therapy in the past but can't seem to find a reason to go on... that old favourite "what's the point" keeps coming up and I'm struggling to find an answer to it although in better times I know I've been able to. Lost my brother to cancer last year and it has truly gutted me... he was more like a father to me than my own father and now my world feels bleak and so completely sad. I've been able to pretend for many yrs - hold down a job, raise two children and appear reasonably well adjusted but the truth now is I can't see me to find the energy or motivation to continue. Does anyone else feel this way? And is so- where do u find a reason to keep going...?

Thanks - wd appreciate any help or advice.

[Quercus]

Hi GemmaJones,

Welcome to the forums and thankyou for reaching out for help. This is a safe place to talk about whatever you want to in my experience everyone here just wants you to feel better. I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now.

You mentioned you've had therapy in the past but do you have anything in place to help you now? Is there a psychologist or counsellor you can make an appointment to see? It would be worth making a long appointment with your GP to discuss how youre feeling. Maybe even print your post to show them if explaining is too hard.

You said you've been able to pretend to be ok for years but why should you have to pretend? You are worth taking care of. You deserve to be happy. You have lots to live for and people who care about you.

I hope to hear you are getting some help soon, in the meantime please keep talking. Thinking of you.

[white knight]

Hi GJ, welcome

I know that feeling.

Lost my bro to suicide in 1979. Loving dad in 1992. I might state the obvious but this is a grieving period you must go through.

How do you recover from it?

Keep busy, . Find projects. For me I quickly found a block of land and started clearing it on my free days then a kit house that I built myself. At times I'd well up, break down. Then I'd do the u-turn...google this...

Topic: switching mindsets- beyondblue

To a great degree we need to acknowledge the obvious, that we have to build our lives. Light sports, hobbies, group therapy and so forth. This thread I wrote was after I attended a motivation speech. It changed my life forever.

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Here are some more to google

Topic: clear the road I'm on my way- beyondblue

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: motivation, search and rescue it- beyondblue

Topic: the positives of fear- beyondblue

There ate many more on this site

All the best. By all means repost. We are here for you

Tony WK

[GemmaJones]

Thank you Q... nothing in place atm- was seeing someone but it was going in circles and I ended up more confused than anything. GP put me back on antidep... so will c how that goes. I struggle w the whole "I'm worth it" thing. I know I am on one level but fall down miserably on the follow thru... and even tho I think I'm going along ok, I end up back at this "what's the point" again just spinning my wheels.

Thank you for yr reply.

[GemmaJones]

Thank you WK-

I will look at the info yv suggested - I appreciate yr reply.

[Quercus]

Hi Gemma,

I hope the medication gives you some relief soon. Do you have any close friends or family members who you can talk to? Sometimes I find when I'm low I shut everyone out which makes me feel worse. It has helped me to have plans in place for when I'm down. For example once a week hubby and I take the kids for a drive and do some tree planting. And I have a cuppa once a week with a friend so we can both talk (she has depression too so we help eachother).

I agree with Tony, have plans to keep you busy. Find things you enjoy to do. I always seem to feel more hopeful when I have a useful project (mine is propagating plants). What do you like to do?

I'm not sure if it's helpful but a psychologist told me once when I feel worthless I should do things that help my self esteem. She suggested exercise, joining a club I'm interested in, taking a class to learn something new, getting a babysitter and going on a date with my husband and getting all dressed up. Can you think of anything you would like to do that is just for you?

Take care of yourself.

[Arendt68]

Hi Gemma

I'll keep this brief.

May I ask: who is the closest person in your life, and why?

Cheers

[quirkywords]

Gemma

I can relate to pretending and it is so exhausting. I did it for years and it took such a toll. Now I am open and honest but it took a long time and even now I am careful whom I reveal my real feelings too.

I hope this thread is helping you.

Cheers

Quirkywords