Am I actually well?

[Bonabie]

Hi, so I’ve been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and I’ve been on quite a lot of meds for the management of it. I work very well as a nurse currently collecting stem cells for cancer patients or donors but I was an emergency department nurse for a number of years. I got married mid last year and am now wanting to start a family so I’ve decided considering I’ve felt well for quite a while that I will stop taking my medication so I can have a healthy pregnancy and child. Since coming off my meds I’ve remained feeling well and if anything feeling better. I can now cry, not feel tired all the time and can lose weight instead of gain from my meds. I now doubt my mental illness but am also worried that I could relapse but im just so unsure. I’ve stopped seeing my psychiatrist and psychologist because they seemed quite against me stopping my medication but other than anxiety that I face now I’ve been quite alright but I also don’t trust it. I also have a much better lifestyle now than I did when I was really unwell but I just don’t know whether I should keep riding this wave or continue to get help. 

[Croix]

Dear Bonabie~

Welcome back, the last time you were here I think you were still studying, so congratulations on achieving your aim, that's a huge accomplishment.

I'm afraid nobody here can say if you are well or not. I"m very glad you fell better off the meds at the moment and when pregnant it is totally understandable why you should want to be med-free.

I guess all I can suggest is to keep a look-out for any returning symptoms. I found (wiht a different illness) I was not good at picking up when I was deteriorating and listened to my partner who had a very good idea of what was reasonable and what was not.

You mentioed you were married, is this something you have talked over with your partner, and would they be a suitable person to rely on to let you know if you did not remain as well as you are now?

My best wishes

Croix