they want to stop my happiness

Pounce · ‎01-05-2015

My psychologist and doctor suspect I have bipolar. My current medication is just not working I still get depressed and have frequent suicidal thoughts. My doctor told me to stop taking one of my medications because I was getting too "high". But I wasn't crazy, just amazingly happy and confident, and people seemed to like me for a change. He's now given me a new med. I've investigated. It's an antipsychotic with a side effect list as long as my arm. I don't want it. It will take my happiness away. Why do they want to take my happiness away??? I'm just looking for a way to be rid of the depression without being rid of the happiness. Know of anything that helps?

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pipsy · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Surrender. When I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I was put onto meds that were supposed to make me quote: 'feel good about myself', unquote. I developed Parkinsons immediately. I returned to the psych who had put me on the meds. He wouldn't listen at first, insisted I persevere with the meds. Luckily I chose to ignore him and stopped taking the meds. The 'shakes' stopped immediately. If you don't have Bipolar and you're prescribed meds for it, discuss with your adviser why he's prescribing the meds. I was taking other meds at the time which may also have worked against the Bipolar med. Bipolar meds are specifically prescribed for that illness. If you have bad reactions/side effects from meds in general, that last too long, yes, go and discuss it with your adviser. As I've said previously, meds can take 2 or 3 weeks to 'kick in'. If after that length of time, you're still experiencing problems, go back and get more advice. If the psych I was seeing at the time had listened, I probably wouldn't have been prescribed that particular medication anyway. I've never had Bipolar, I suffer mainly with depression caused through frustration. I'm not taking any meds at all, haven't been on any since last year and I'm better than I was with them. However, having said that, that's me, everyone is different. Be guided by your G.P/specialist/psych. My G.P monitors me regularly and I'm doing well. BB helps, my church helps, I have a good support group, that's very important.

Good luck, keep in touch.

Glad to help whenever.

Surrender · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Pipsy - thanks for your reply. So happy for you for doing well. I wrote my first post this morning which i guess the moderator is reviewing before posting on here so i won't repeat everything. With the Bipolar part I was misdiagnosed over 12 years ago and at the time I was on AD meds which apparently is a no no if you have Bipolar. But lucky for me my Dr sent me to two other phsycs which confirmed that i have anxiety - so all good i stopped the Bipolar meds.

Thank you.

Pounce · ‎07-05-2015

Thanks for your reply. They are in agreement, they both saw me in one of my rather hyperactive moods and they both are suggesting that I have bipolar. But I'm not willing to accept that or the medication without a definative diagnosis

Pounce · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Geoff, thanks for your answer. I have stopped taking the medication that seemed to be triggering a manic high which was amongst its side effects for susceptible people. So I followed my doctor's advice in that. I'm just wary of this new medication because it could be even worse, especially if they've got the wrong idea about my having bipolar.

cheers

Surrender · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Pounce.

I went to two other psychiatrists - both were to evaluate me. My Dr did not use the word bipolar 2 in the referral.

They both concluded high anxiety. I actually went back to the original psych that diagnosed bipolar and asked him how he came to this conclusion. He said "you have had too many jobs - too many partners (have been in one relationship for over 10 years) you party all night long and you are a risk taker. I actually believed him at the time and was very compliant with meds. It was only because my boss, family and friends intervened and encouraged me to seek further advice.

I wish you all the best.

pipsy · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Surrender. Thanks for your reply. I've found some psych's can be very judgemental in their diagnoses. The one I saw, was too. He had me believing everything he said. I'm pleased you sought further advice and glad things worked out for you. Just hope everything continues going well for you. You seem like a very positive person.

Keep going.

pipsy · ‎07-05-2015

Hi Pounce. Just wondering if you know anything about Bipolar. Sometimes the very name of these conditions can frighten Hell out of us. Maybe if you talked to your G.P or adviser about Bipolar and what it is and how it manifests itself. I'm not saying you have it, maybe you are just hyperactive, but if you have Bipolar, help is available. All I know about Bipolar is that you experience 'highs' and 'lows'. If, after learning more about it, you could accept you have it (if you do). The meds wouldn't be so scary. See what you can find out about it, arm yourself with as much knowledge as you can, then you'll have a better idea what's going on?

All the best

Pounce · ‎07-05-2015

Thanks surrender, your contribution is very helpful. I'm convinced that I should wait for a confirmed diagnosis from the psychiatrist before I take the bipolar meds. I certainly have lots of anxiety when I'm depressed, hiding in the house, fearing being watched, panic attacks etc

Pounce · ‎08-05-2015

Thanks Pipsy, I have been reading up a lot on bipolar recently. It's not a diagnosis anyone would want! And there is still so much more stigma attached to bipolar compared to clinical depression! But the tests I've done are all pointing that way. When I'm hyperactive, I have no anxiety, no fear, I feel euphoric, happy to the max and buzzing with electricity. I turn from very introverted to rather extroverted

pipsy · ‎10-05-2015

Hi Pounce. I totally agree with you about the stigma attached to any form of mental illness, including simple depression. Bipolar, for some reason conjures up images of people running around laughing madly one minute, 'high', sobbing profusely 'low', next. If you are not like that, you don't want to be. Have you looked at possibility of maybe simply ADHD. I don't know how old you are, but if it's simply ADHD, then the meds for Bipolar may be wrong. Just a thought, again, you would have to discuss with your adviser.