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they want to stop my happiness

Pounce
Community Member
My psychologist and doctor suspect I have bipolar. My current medication is just not working I still get depressed and have frequent suicidal thoughts. My doctor told me to stop taking one of my medications because I was getting too "high". But I wasn't crazy, just amazingly happy and confident, and people seemed to like me for a change. He's now given me a new med. I've investigated. It's an antipsychotic with a side effect list as long as my arm. I don't want it. It will take my happiness away. Why do they want to take my happiness away??? I'm just looking for a way to be rid of the depression without being rid of the happiness. Know of anything that helps?


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22 Replies 22

Pounce
Community Member
Hi Pipsy. I looked into ADHD. Seems unlikely. I'm a rather high achieving academic type. And I'm normally very quiet, introverted, can focus for hours on end. Well, we'll see. I'm off the culprit medication now. Not that it's made much difference

pipsy
Community Member
Hi Pounce.  Pleased to hear you've not got ADHD, that's a relief.  You're off the meds, good one.  When did that happen?  You do come across as a bit impatient, though.  When you come off meds, it can take a week or so to readjust, the same as it takes for the med to 'kick in'.  You say you're a high achieving academic type.  Is the Dr monitoring your progress without meds?  See how you go, how you feel for a week or so.  You may have trouble sleeping as you adjust.  Did your Dr explain problems adjusting to life without meds?  Have you looked at what caused the original problem that caused you to go to the Dr.  You said you were depressed.  Why?  Try writing down when you're feeling down, why you feel down, what can you do to overcome that.  Maybe you're simply trying to do too much.  Maybe your self expectations are too high and this frustrates you.  That can cause you to feel depressed.  The more you try to do and can't, the more angry and depressed, frustrated you become.  It's a vicious merry go-round.  Try and accept who and what you are.  Not easy, but in the long run, it's better for you.   

Pounce
Community Member
Ah yes! My expectations do tend to be a bit high. A bit of a perfectionist I've been told. Actually, I'm still on one AD. I stopped the one that apparently triggered a high. That was several weeks ago. But I'm still getting highs and lows. Was in a very agro stressed out mood today! Last week was happy as a lark, could barely stop shaking and singing with excitement. Could feel the fog of depression trying to grab me on the weekend. Couldn't even motivate myself to shower or brush my hair. But managed to do the washing. Go figure! Cheers for your help 🙂