Therapy. Struggling and need some tips.

[Guest_9043]

Hi,

I have just begun therapy. Second session today. I am committed to seeing this all through. It's incredibly hard work in and outside of therapy. Thankfully I have a supportive partner. I feel though I don't want to hang it all in my partner, that us not fair to either of us nor our relationship. In the meantime I struggle with no other supports. I take medication and nothing else can be done there. I don't have any friends so I don't have supportive friendships at this point. I do a lot of self care and self soothing. I do take time out from all of it when it is just too much. That's the things I do at the moment. I had a severe breakdown almost three weeks ago and I'm still in recovery. I work for myself but that has taken a backseat. I miss working a lot. I am just taking it real slow with that.

The stuff I am dealing with in therapy us very messy and complex. Severe abuse from my only three family members whom I no longer have any contact with. My therapy is about me and healing me. Still though it's been recent that I cut contact with the remains two so there is complicated ambiguous grief. That's just a small snapshot of therapy. I will continue on with my current therapist.

My struggles are not enough support nor knowing what I need to do. My head is already so full of stuff and I just manage to barely get through on some days. I have a lot on my plate, by myself. I would like to hear if any other viable solutions for a person that is time poor so I can feel more supported.

Thanks.

[uncut_gems]

Hi 2quik,

I can tell just from the way you're writing that you're totally committed to your new therapy regimen and that you've already started using some of the language in your own words to describe your thinking and taken on some of the skills you have learned. That's such an impressive and important thing, especially after only two sessions!

Therapy is long, hard work, and the longer you do it for the less precious each individual sessions seems. As long as you are able to afford the number of sessions you need (a big if!), it's totally okay if some days are slow and others feel full of breakthroughs. It would be exhausting and even counterproductive if all our therapy sessions had us grappling with really tough stuff– some days it will feel like you haven't really done anything, and that's just as much a part of the process.

You say you're busy; that's good! Therapy is meant to help you get to a place where you can better deal with the other things in your life, not get in the way of it. It's good to be mindful of your partner's time but don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. If the work can wait, let it, until you're ready to get back to it.

You're making big moves– give yourself some time for things to settle in, and really embrace to the extent that you can doing this truly good thing for yourself. You have done 90% of the work getting yourself the right resources, so it's important to give it time and space to work!

Take care,

Gems

[Guest_9043]

Hi Gems.

Thank you for your reply. To be honest, the skills I do have, have been acquired over a long period of time and lots of therapy. I took a much needed long break from therapy and have now gone back. 32 years of abuse and not just from one parent alone takes a heck of a long time.

Thank you for all you said in your second paragraph. I am practicing putting less pressure on myself to achieve and to take time out, slow down occasionally. It is very hard for me to do that, however I see the necessity of it.

Yes, I am a busy person. Mainly always in my head I am busy. I have to work with that too. I have to keep trying to navigate how to live life now. Now without the abuse present and also that is very tiring and some days so incredibly frustrating. I have reservations of asking for help for many reasons, I am trying to ask for more help if I need it. Again trying to recover from abuse over a very long period of time and learning to live life differently in also what seems so completely foreign yet is normal can be challenging.

Thank you for reminding me to give it time and space to work. I really appreciate all you have said. Thank you.

2quik.