Tapering off antidepressants

[Erin_Shorr]

I have been on antidepressants since 16 years old, I am now 29 (I have been tapering down for 2 years). Even this has been too fast because I have been in post-acute withdrawal symptoms for almost 6 months now. I decided I wanted to come off these as I didn’t like the way they were making me feel, I take a holistic approach to things now. I was emotionally numb, developed a ray of health issues, memory problems, the list goes on. Every minute of every day now I am suffering with depression, SI, intrusive thoughts, insomnia, severe anxiety, panic, worry, constant negative thoughts, mood swings, rage and basically not able to function. The scariest thing is my cognitive function, unable to process information, decision making, concentration, understanding, memory etc. I feel so incompetent and dis-able as simple tasks have become so hard for me. I have to work to make money but it’s awful being there when I’m like this (I work as a Disability Support Worker). I am completely terrified. Constant waves with no windows now. I have lost most people, I know they all look at me and roll their eyes as they think I’m doing nothing to help myself and NEED medication or to bridge to a new one. This makes me feel very alone, it goes against everything I believe in I don’t want to put another mind altering drugs into my body that is THIS hard to come home. I’m struggling to see any future or light here. I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this and things got better? I think I’m holding onto a lot of stored trauma that I’ve never processed. I struggle with self esteem, confidence issues, feeling of not being good enough for anything, constantly doubting myself. If anyone can relate please help me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi there,  Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others who understand what you’re going through. We can hear how difficult it has been lately, we’re so sorry that’s been going on.  It sounds like it would be a great time to update the GP on how you’re going, especially since you’ve been having thoughts about suicide.   We’d also really recommend calling the Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors there are super kind and supportive, they’re understanding and can be good to talk to right in the midst of these feelings, or at any moment so that you can work out your next steps in getting more support together with them on the phone. You can also reach them via webchat 24/7.  If you’re feeling suicidal or are having thoughts about harming yourself, it's important that you take immediate steps to keep safe. If you feel unable to keep yourself from acting on your thoughts about suicide or self-harm this is an emergency, and you need to call 000 (triple zero).   It also sounds like the Beyond Now suicide safety planning app may be a helpful resource to you. You can read about how it works and where to download it here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning . You can even call Lifeline (131114) and compete it together with one of their counsellors over the phone  We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you, and we’re sure they’ll spot your post soon enough and have some kind words and understanding for you.   Kind regards,  Sophie M 

[geoff]

Hello Erin_Shorr, you are entitled to stop this medication for reasons you have told us, can I suggest that once you have stopped time to figure out whether it was the right decision or not, if not then perhaps you could seek out another doctor, or go back to your doctor and tell them, if you haven't already that you need something else.

I understand what you are saying though.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Erin_Shorr]

Thank you for replying, I spoke to a councillor from beyond blue today and now have a safety plan. The GP is aware and he wants me to go back on the original dose or a new drug which isn’t an option. I feel very stuck 

[Petal22]

Hi Erin Shorr,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Do you feel as though things are declining for you now that you are trying to taper off the antidepressants?

Did you feel more stable when you where on them?

I understand wanting to come home to you without medication but I believe coming home is our souls and not our human bodies.

I believe our minds are part of the human body and they can control so many other parts of our bodies due to our reactions to our minds.

I believe medication to treat such mental health conditions are available for the human mind so in some way they lift up the human being so we can live a more free functioning life from within.

Our souls are the true us and once it can be free of the distressed mine chatter it can feel more at ease and we can then combine the two to live a more fulfilled happier, calmer life.

I currently take an antidepressant and also work with holistic treatments Im now a very balanced human being.

I believe that professional health treatments can be complemented with holistic treatments.

Feel free to let us know your thoughts.