Schema therapy? Or a way to grow positives in one's life?

[hope4joy]

Hi there,

I'm currently reassessing whether therapy is helping me after having a huge fall back to depression in the last few months. I know that xmas and being on holidays are difficult times for me, as well as my psych being away for 6 weeks, but I am so tired of going around the same merry go round and keeping on getting unwell. I've just started meds to try to increase my base-line for mood and try to add a little more resilience. But I also believe I need some change in therapy approach. I've been with the same psychiatrist for about two years now (mentalisation based therapy) and have also done CBT and DBT previously. I've got a much better handle on managing emotions in healthy ways, self care, communicating assertively, self awareness and am no longer impulsive, suicidal or disassociating which is great. I also moved around for many years so being stable geographically is huge. So I feel like I get support to manage the problems and difficulties in my life but little support to help to grow the positive, in particular I find it really hard being able to increase and maintain a healthy network of friends. And I find that similar thought patterns (like feeling inferior to others etc) keep recurring and shutting me down in social settings. I've read that schema therapy can be good for changing these deep-seated beliefs? Does anyone have experience with schema therapy? Or know any other approaches that I can use with my psych to help focus on and grow the good in my life? 

With thanks, Christina 

[Jacko777]

So I am looking for the positive...the thing to love. Social situations were hard for me, I had a social anxiety. So I practice loving that I get to meet new and lovely people, to learn from them, if I learn something I will grow and become a better person and that's very positive. All challenges can be viewed as opportunities to become better people, what's not to love, we just have to practice controlling our reaction to the situation at hand, drop the emotion which is of the mind, take it on the chin, roll up our sleeves and start taking steps to respond to the challenge. Love that you are on a path of improvement, we are all on a journey and we can choose to enjoy it, or not.

My disclaimer!...It is a practice, not something we arrive at. For me I keep learning all the time, I go a bit backwards some times, i have moments of despair, but not many these days. I try to love the fact that today, I will be challenged, I will learn and I will grow. Most long winded reply ever!

Jack xx 

[hope4joy]

Hi Jack,

thanks for your words. It seems you are passionate about this subject, about choosing to switch from negative to positive... and finding love in every situation. I often get the rambles when I'm passionate about something. Its a nice feeling to know that something really matters!

It is great that you're finding more harmony between mind, body and spirit, and letting go of beliefs that prevent this union. I also believe in all three and often my spirit communicates through my dreams... just special ones every now and then that stay clear in my mind. I think mine has been hungry for a long while and I hope I can nourish it soon. It seems to just get scraps every now and then, largely because fears seem to dominate my life.

I have been hit with a surge of hopelessness/ depression these last days, at the very thought of trying to 're invent' my life for the upteenth time. I'm over therapy and change... and yet I don't want to stay as I am. I guess sometimes these painful in between places are necessary to show a new way forward. Its a strange place to be, I guess I just have to find what it can offer. It is ever so tiring trying to keep growing and changing all the time though, I feel like I've been doing it most of my adult life, trying to make sense of me and life and find a way I can fit in. Oh for acceptance and ease and letting go of fear, expectations and depression!

Anyhow I shall stop here for now. Kind wishes, Christina