Nervous about counselling

[Coffeebean]

I thought I should post a newbie hello. It seems the polite thing to do, rather than lurking.

I am married, mother of two, working part time.

I've been taking an antidepressant for almost four weeks now, (first time) and need to see my gp again to arrange counselling (also first time). Side effects haven't been too bad, just restlessness and low appetite.

I've realised that I'm particularly bad at talking about myself. I am a really, really good listener, but when it comes to talking, nothing comes out. It's almost as if saying "I'm fine" has become automatic.

[MickeyM]

Hi Coffebean!

I just read your post and some of the responses.

I'm also married, working with 2 kids in Primary school. My husband is very supportive, but as he's the main breadwinner, it's falls on me to get kids organized, keep up with things at school as well as after school activities, plus the running of the house.

Sometimes I think we're so used to being Mum and looking after everyone, we forget to look after ourselves. Well done to you for seeing your GP, I know it's not easy. When is your appointment with the counselor?

I do like Geoff's suggestion of writing things down, it can ease some anxiety if there's something in particular you'd like to say, plus writing it down helps structuring thoughts. When things are really bad, I write in a journal. It still helps. Sometimes I'll feel so messed up, go to my journal and can't help but re-read what I'd written previously. I'll notice how messy my writing is; at that time I couldn't spill my thoughts fast enough. But what I really noticed was an insight to myself, and how far I really did come. Of course it's not always pleasant to read what was happening at that time, but at the risk of sounding self-serving, I always wondered how the hell I coped with everything. But I did. And that in itself gives me strength.

I still get anxious over nothing (generalized anxiety) and it can send me spinning. But there's more good hours, which leads to more good days, more good weeks and so on. As for how long it will take, I would dearly love to answer that, really I would. But the thing is, you might not even notice that you're ok, you'll likely have a good day and all of a sudden you'll reflect and realize that you've had more than one good day.

It's kind of like when you stub your toe or something and it hurts, and gets less painful and it's not until later you realize that it's stopped hurting.

You mentioned in your post that you're struggling to cope with the smallest things. Maybe think about you're achievements each day. Certainly getting kids to school and working is a juggling act, not to mention everything else that goes with it. It's hard. And we really aren't giving ourselves enough credit for things we do manage to achieve. And if you think about all the other Mums who also work part-time, wondering how they manage, just please remember that they are probably wondering at how we're managing, too. (One look at my laundry will give an insight to how!!)

take care

Mickey

[Coffeebean]

Thanks Mickey and Shred. This forum makes me feel a bit less less lonely.

I'm in that stage where the medication is causing side effects, but not really making me feel much better. My husband said he has noticed that I'm sleeping better, so I'll try to hold on to that as a positive. And I'll try to let go of timeframes.

My first visit with the psychologist is next week.

CB

[MickeyM]

Hi Coffebean!

Thanks for posting again, I'm glad you're sleeping better. I've been having terrible night-sweats, but I'm too young for menopause!! It's playing havoc with my sleep. So from one currently bad sleeper to someone who's sleep has improved, Yay! I'm pleased for you.

You know the saying "Don't sweat the small stuff"? Would it be ok if I had a little rant?

So I worked today until 3, then got the kids, took them to the library, made an appointment for a haircut for one of them, groceries, washing, put dinner on and thought, Crap, I need to register and pay for my dd for netball! She's just joined the local team, and we were told that she can't play games, but is welcome to train with them. This is perfect as I literally cannot be in 2 places at once. I've agreed, I'll register & happy to pay for their compliance, etc, etc.

So tonight I sat down, entered her name (it's all online) and there she is, because she's played Net Set Go previously. She's on their system, so I enter my email address, (forgot password) and no, my email is not registered. Tried my work email, which, I didn't think I'd use for my kids' netball, but who knows what I was thinking. No, not there either.

Went to setup new participant & part of it was to enter details, and, would you believe it, there she is! Sent the email for login details...that was a couple of hours ago & haven't received it.

So I nearly burnt dinner, netballs not paid, can't get emails to set the netball password ***sigh***

Time to log onto Beyond Blue, chat to someone who 'gets it!'. Then I'm going to read a book I picked up from the library with a block of chocolate, and...don't sweat the small stuff.

In the meantime, I'm delegating the washing to my husband to hang out.

Take care.

[Coffeebean]

No problem, rant away 🙂

Sometimes we all need a bit of chocolate (or as we call it in our house, emergency chocolate).

As in "Mummy, why do you have chocolate in your bathroom cupboard?"

"Oh, that's just emergency chocolate."

[MickeyM]

Love it! 😂

[Shred1106]

Go Coffeebean...

Steps are steps that's all and even the smallest of things can be an achievement! I have seen family twice over the weekend for short periods and haven't snapped! - that's my achievement!

So, day by day, I write down what I have done - might be like brought in the wood for the fire.Keep in mind everyone's meds act differently and take differing times to kick in but don't give up!

Sleeping better is a HUGE win!!!! YAY!!!!...(and can you pas some to me please?)

Remember - one step at a time, and steps too can have rounded edges and therefore take a bit more time to negotiate.But, we are here for you!

Sending good vibes!

[Coffeebean]

Thanks Shred.

You're right. Celebrate the small steps. Because what might seem like a small step, may have taken quite a lot of effort.

Today I realise another improvement. I have been wearing pyjamas to bed every night, rather than sleeping in my clothes! I know that probably sounds a little strange. But I'm going to celebrate it!

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

My apologies about not replying sooner, I haven't been on the forums for a while. I have read your responses and just wanted to touch on the medication point you made that you don't feel it is working.. my understand is that is can take quite a while for the medication to have a full effect, this is what my doctor told me when I started on medication.. 8 weeks precisely before I start feeling the effects. Has it improved at all or do you feel it is working since you last posted that?

Other than that, how's everything else going? Are you doing any better?

My best,

Jay

[Coffeebean]

Hi Jay.

Thanks for checking in. I think the medication is helping, in that I sleep better. I still wake up a lot, but get back to sleep quickly.

But I'm not sure if I can put up with side effects. It's causing a lot of jaw tightness, and I find I'm chewing on my tongue. I also think it might be causing anxiety - comes on about an hour after I take it, and lasts all day.

I'm sitting here with the pill in front of me, wondering if I'll take a day it today.

CB

[BballJ]

Hi Coffeebean,

Have you told your GP about these side effects? Finding the right medication can be hard as well because your body has to take to it so I do highly recommend going back to seeing your doctor and advising them off these symptoms. I tend to get some anxiety after I take some medication as I feel sometimes they are doing more harm than good and I worry about that so I can see how you would be feeling that.

My best,

Jay