How to talk to your doctor

[em001]

Hi,

I was diagnosed with Depression late last year.  Recently I have been having suicidal thoughts and am not sleeping at all.  In the middle of the nights is the worst and I am scared I will reach a point where I wont know what to do when I have these bad thoughts.

Last week my GP told me she thinks I should be in Hospital - I refused and told her I am ok.  I saw my Psychologist last week too and this is the first time I admitted to suicidal thoughts.  I was so embarrassed and ashamed that as soon as I admitted it I clammed up and couldn't talk about it anymore.   I don't want to go to my next appointment with her because of this.  

Does anyone have any real life advice on how to open up to and be honest with GP / Psychologist.  I know I need help and thinking about my appointments I plan out in my head what to say to them but when I get there I just cant get the words out.  I tell them I am ok when I am not.  I know I need help but can't ask for it.

I don't want to die but am scared that in the dark times at night I will make a stupid decision.  

Any advice would be great.

Thanks.

[Neil_1]

Hi there em001  

It’s great that you’ve reached out here to Beyond Blue – because there’s a heap of caring and wonderful members who will be reaching back to you and grabbing your hand and hauling in to our community.  We’ll support you, offer advice and give you everything that we possibly can (via this method).  

You write well and you project your thoughts/feelings down really nicely.  My advice to you (is advice I put out a lot, cause I use it myself) and that is to write down dot points – all the things that are causing you major stress – the nightmares, the awful thoughts, being scared at night – everything, get it down.  Then when you get to see your psych for your next appointment, either hand over the piece of paper or read from it – but I suspect with how you’re feeling, perhaps handing it over might be the best method.  Then together you can work through each issue.  Please please, can you do this? 

As you know, it is so important that these thoughts are revealed. 

Embarrassment and being ashamed should never feature …  push them to the very back of your thoughts and then push them further away.  This is your life we’re talking about here … there is nothing more important.  

As for these awful thoughts you’re having … do you live alone?  Have you got family close?   What about friends?  Work colleagues?  Now just imagine how horrifying these lives would be if you were to carry out what your awful thoughts are telling you?  You’d have multiple lives affected forever.  You simply can’t do this … it’s not an option.  Does this make sense?   I guess it does in the bright lights of the day time!   Ps:  if these thoughts come back to you strong, please think of the above people BUT also please have written down next to your telephone the number of:  Beyond Blue help line (1300 22 4636)  or Lifeline (131114).  

 I do hope that some of what I’ve written above has triggered something for you … and above all else,

I do hope that you are able to be back in contact with us?  

Kind regards  

Neil