Does medication help?

[acacia100]

Hi, I have been not coping well lately. After a phone call to beyond blue i finally managed to get the courage to go to the doctor for help. The doctor is saying i have anxiety and depression and i have been booked in for counselling. My appointment is not for another 3 weeks but i feel like i need help sooner, i feel like Im crumbling on the inside, i look at others and see them go about their day to day life with ease and i wonder why i struggle so much internally... I have near constant panicky feeling, heavy chest, feel worthless and hopeless and cry easily....i just feel so....broken.

I don't have many people in real life that i can talk to, i don't have many friends and i worry so much that if i burden the friends i do have with my issues then it will push them away and then that fear of losing people i care about causes even more anxiety. I hate the way i feel and i wish i could turn it all off, i have tried and tried so hard to help myself feel better and be more positive.

I am unsure about taking medication, i don't like the idea of it but i just want to feel content, happy and normal and not feel like impending doom is upon me every day. I would like to know other peoples experience with medication or counselling ? Did it help? and how long until it starts to work?

Is it the depression that makes me feel so miserable and worthless or is it just my life? Will the shitty feelings ever go away because if they don't then i don't see the point in anything....whats the point in it all??

Thanks in advance

[acacia100]

Hi, Just thought i would pop in for an update.

I have had two sessions with a psychologist which I've found odd talking to a complete stranger. Apparently i am depressed and have bad anxiety. Wether its depression or just a result of being in a shitty environment i am not sure! They want to discuss the option of medication next week but i am still not sure. The psychologist thinks that its going to take a lot of work to feel better.

I have been really 'shaky' lately and it scares me a bit. I am pretending to hold it together around others...just barely..this week was hard dealing with toxic people at home and feeling worthless at work and taking everything personally. Ive found myself crying over the smallest tasks or when small things go wrong. I've had to walk away and hide to compose myself when i start feeling shaky and teary. Then i get angry at myself for not just being tougher and snapping out of it. Cant talk to my partner about anything because he gets angry at me if i show emotion or get upset.

My homework today is to 'look after myself' and to be gentle with myself.

[Croix]

Dear Acacia`

Thanks for the update, I was wondering how you were going. I'm pleased you are seeing a psychologist, even if it does feel weird, then again I guess most of us have felt that way at the start. I'm also pleased you have a formal diagnosis, at least you know what it all is now. I found that helped a lot.

The issue of medication was going to come up, you anticipated that when you started this thread. All I can say is what I and others have said before. It can be very beneficial and make a big difference to your life, and of those around you sometimes too. Starting can be slow and is not always easy; and if there are side effects they need reporting. Meds affect different people in different ways, so a period of adjustment or swapping to get the best can be needed.

As for the question depression or just a result of being in a shitty environment . A bit of a chicken and egg thing. Depression makes things seem shittier and you less able to cope with them. A toxic environment may well eventually lead to depression. Doesn't really matter, you treat the depression and try to reduce toxic situations as much as you can - not always easy to do I know.

No one with depression or anxiety can ever 'snap out of it' or be tougher. It's a medical condition - as is diabetes -and it makes just as much sense to tell a diabetic to hang tough. So the first thing in being kind to yourself is not having unrealistic expectation for yourself.

All the things you are feeling at the moment seem like me when my anxiety takes over. There are many things you can do to reduce background anxiety and attacks as they occur. I'd suggest having a look around this Forum to see how others have coped. A good starting point would be:

Forums / Anxiety / SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY

Very long but I've found it highly useful. Being kind to yourself also means doing things you enjoy. It's not being selfish, just getting a balance and temporary relief from the hassles of living with anxiety and depression. For example I read and lose myself in books.

Try the free smartphone app Smiling Mind, takes practice, helps me a great deal.

Please keep talking and letting us know how you are getting on

Croix

[blondguy]

Hi Acacia

Great to see you again!

The 'shaky' feeling you mentioned is very common with anxiety....depression or having a 'tired' mind.

When we are over sensitised we do feel these awful symptoms..including crying at the smallest trigger too. Any anxiety/depression does take a heap of determination and a mega strong focus to get start finding some peace

Dealing with overly negative/toxic people doesnt do much for our recovery as you know. The hardest place to be is living with people that are this way. If its work or an acquaintance we can avoid these people. At home is a completely different story

Being mentally tired is the same as physical exhaustion....they are both draining. Repeated ongoing counseling is a great way to bring some peace back into your life.

You have done really well by having the two visits so quickly and good on you!

I still see my GP every 4 weeks for a 'tune up' whether or not I feel 'overwhelmed'

Just for your info this is my 20th year on AD's. They have helped me not only retain employment but have also helped me grow and be successful in my career too. I originally started taking them (reluctantly) when I found myself with chronic anxiety and in a constant state of being overwhelmed (I was crook and didnt really know it)

Being tougher, fighting the symptoms or trying to snap out of it doesnt work.

Genuine acceptance of these awful feelings make them less powerful thus makes them weaker in intensity.

I think you will do very well with having the proactive mindset you have Acacia. You are a legend 🙂

Golly...I have prattled on here a bit...I hope there is something here than can help..even a teenie bit

My kind thoughts for you Acacia and I love your last sentence too 🙂 Great stuff!

Paul

[acacia100]

Thankyou so much croix and blondguy for your kind words.

It is releiving to know that im not completely alone in how i feel. And comforting to see how others do manage and eventually feel ok again.

Anxiety is a b!atch isnt it! Some days i can notice it and control it and other times it just completely takes over my mind.

Im at a point where i think im willing to try medication because i dont want to feel like this...ill keep u guys posted.

Thanks again for ur advice& support ...it means a lot to me.

[blondguy]

No worries at all Acacia 🙂

Anxiety is a B!atch...spot on. With your proactive attitude you will find peace from this crappy disorder

You are never alone here Acacia

Paul

[acacia100]

Hi guys..popping in for another update.

i ended up asking the doc for medication because my anxiety was unbearable. They put me on some and it has been very interesting!

Everything is abnormally calm and strange, feels like im in some dream like world. So the anxiety is gone..awesome...but the tablets make me so ridiculously tired that i cannot function properly and i feel numb and blah about everything. I feel like heavy... like a potato! Lol!

I lowered the dose but still dont like it. Its only been a week but im contemplating going off them. In my calm state of mind i have been able to look at myself and my thoughts differently and feel like i need to master this myself without tablets.

Not sure wether to give it a few more days or just not take tonights dose??

[CMF]

Hi acacia,

Thank you for your posts on the 'inner chatter' thread. I managed to find your thread and am wondering how you are going with the meds. What did you decide to do? I notice your thread has been quiet for sometime but you are still around and posting. I don't take meds but have used natural supplements and yes, some made me feel drowsy and zonked out. I ended upstopping but my anxiety is on and off depending what is going on in my life. I now take vitamin B and fish oil. My anxiety is also hormonal so i take something for that too.

cmf x

[acacia100]

Hi cmf.

I gave up the meds, they didnt work for me at all. Ive tried counselling with two different people but gave up because they didn't understand how to help me.

Im still struggling with cr@p daily but i figure its stuff i have to figure out on my own. I did get the guts to go and ask for help or support from professionals and even a few people close to me but no one helps or seems to care that much. So im back to keeping things to myself again. It makes me really angry and upset actually. I do have good people and i do feel grateful for them but i dont know how to ask for help because if get ignored and fotgotton about again it just stings too much! Makes me feel more worthless and i sink further into that hole.