Year 12 daughter saved her friend from an attempt and now she has PTSD and can't go to school *Trigger warning: suicide attempt*

[WorriedMum_]

My beautiful caring daughter attended a social gathering at a school friends house. One of the friends hadn't been seen for a while, so they went looking for him. Her and her male friend found the guy mid-suicide attempt. They immediately went to help him while screaming for help. Another guy came running over to help. She said she was panicking.

He was very lucky to come around and survive. Had it been a few minutes later he would not be so lucky. Once the boy came round he claims he doesn't remember anything (he had been drinking and is on a strong dose of antidepressants). So the people that were at the gathering decided they would not let their parents, his parents or the school know as they feel he doesn't remember it and he was just being a sad drunk on Valentines Day (as he had broken up with his girlfriend). So they have all gone on as if nothing has happened. By daughter wants them to tell the parents and the school but they don't want her to. She is in a very toxic friendship group with 10 guys and just 1 other female. She is new to the school and this is the only friendship group that would let her sit with them. They boys in the group are misogynistic and her female bestfriend is suffering from a whole lot of issues but loves the attention from the boys in the group so she will always choose the boys over her only female best friend. The guy who tried to commit suicide is attending school and everyone is acting like NOTHING happened. My poor daughter is so traumatised.This friendship group has been toxic for about a year now and this recent experience has made things so much worse. She does not want to go to school and see these people, however she is 3 terms away from finishing Year 12. She is booked in with the GP to get a mental health plan so she can see a psychologist to help process everything that has happened. I want to protect her and keep her away from the toxic friendship group, but she has nowhere else to sit (and these people are in her classes). She doesn't want to spend her school breaks in the library or bathroom. She is tearful at school, needs to ask to go to the bathroom to cry before returning to class. Please HELP me help her?

[Sophie_M]

Hi WorriedMum.,

Thank you for joining us here. We can understand why you are feeling so worried - it sounds like your daughter has been through something very traumatic. It's great that you have such an open and caring relationship. She is lucky to have a parent so caring as yourself.

It's great that you have taken your daughter to the GP and are on track with a Mental Health Care Plan. In the meantime, you may want to recommend that if your daughter needs support from a professional counsellor at any time, she is welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

You and your daughter are also both welcome to get in contact with the Suicide Call Back Service for some advice and support. The Suicide Call Back Service is a nationwide service providing 24/7 telephone and online counselling to all people affected by suicide. You can call them on 1300 659 467 or chat to them here - https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

Our members may also have some words of support or advice for you. Hopefully a few of them will be by to welcome you over the next few days. Thanks again for reaching out to us here.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi WorriedMum.

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us here. I'm both grateful for you as a mum asking support and upset about what your daughter has had to go through. This experience is traumatic for someone at any age, let alone trying to manage year 12.

While I understand the concept of pretending nothing happened, I imagine that this either won't last for long, or other people are in a very similar boat to your daughter.

I'm really glad you've got a MHCP and hope it doesn't take too long until she has an appointment. Is there a school counsellor at the school as well? Often most high schools have them, and they can work side-by-side.

The other option of course, is to let a teacher/counsellor or principal know about what happened. Of course nobody would want the school to know, but if either yourself or your daughter tells someone that she trusts, they can handle it confidentially and gracefully.

I hope this helps a little - please keep reaching out for support and I hope the wait for a psychologist is not too far away.

rt