Supporting son with depression

[Mininonna]

My son has had anxiety since a child. I took him to a psychologist (against his wishes) when 12 years old and he soon learned that if he 'hid' his anxiety, everyone would leave him alone. Now he is 20 he also has depression. This was something he hid very well, until it became too much. Thankfully he went to a trusted friend and they supported him to see a GP. He has trialled a few anti-depressants but has admitted that he told the GP the current ones are fine so he didn't have to go back, even though things still are not that great. He doesn't want to get counselling. I have noticed changes to his behaviour that out of character (e.g. sitting at the local pub by himself and betting, sometimes drinking). While I do not think there is an immediate concern, I do feel he needs more intervention. It is painful to watch and I am left picking up the pieces after a depressive episode. The only time he wants to talk is when he has had a few too many drinks. Does anyone have advice on how to get them to see that more help is needed?

[geoff]

Hello Mininonna, and a warm welcome to the site.

Your concern and dedication for your son is obvious and hope we can help you, although we aren't doctors, most of us have had similar problems, especially when they decide to hide whatever is concerning them and pretend that nothing is wrong.

Whether or not he is taking his medication is not known, but drinking, as well as gambling as a way to cope with his problems, may need the help he's been pushing away.

Being intoxicated, people have no fear in telling others what's happened although it may be exaggerated in some form, doesn't matter because at least they are talking with you.

There could be one problem that starts with this, and that's being that they may need to be intoxicated so they can then talk because when they are sober it's all hidden away, that's a situation we want to try and avoid.

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 are trained counsellors but they dress in casual clothes, which may break the stigma of seeing someone dressed in a tie and suit.

These people can be contacted by phone, webchat or online and you can contact them for their opinion.

Can we start with this and would love to hear back from, so we can continue.

Geoff.

[Mininonna]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for the response, it is very much appreciated.
I have decided that in order to help my son, I first need to be in a good place. The constant state of anxiety I am in is not helpful to anyone.
I have made an appointment with the GP to get a process started for me. Hopefully I can find the right person to help me, but also give me strategies to help my son until such time he is ready to get the help for himself.
His support person is also regularly checking in.
I prefer to be proactive now rather than wait until the situation is dire, this why I reached out for advice. There is a link to an online course on the website but I can’t find it anymore. Do you know which one I am taking about?

Mini

[quirkywords]

Mini

welcome. Geoff has given You supportive help.

You are a very caring mum.
I have been someone helping some with depression and I have been a 20 year old who needed help but refused help for a whi,e and self medicated.
it good you are getting help for your son but you need support for you.