Supporting my partner who is transitioning off anti-depression medication

[Flamps8]

Hi everyone, just wanted to talk about some struggles I am going through at the moment supporting my partner of 3 years as she comes off her anti-depression and anxiety medication. She has been on the medication for close to 5 years, and now, with her doctor and psychologist's support, she is transitioning off her medication. Over the period of a few months, she lowered her dosages and spacing of taking medication.

The doctor said that there will be side effects to this, including symptoms of anxiety/depression, and there has been over the past few weeks. Some days she does really well and all seems normal, some days she says she's not feeling right and that she's having 'brain zaps'. The there are some really bad days, where seemingly out of nowhere she will become incredibly emotional and irrational and be in depressive states.

For example, the other night she became upset when I left one of the doors in the house open that she wanted left shut. She became so upset that she walked out of the house without alerting me, so when i went to look for her later i couldnt find her and panicked. I tried to call and she declined it, just texted back that she was out. I found her walking in the streets, seemingly not even conciously 'all there'. Turns out she was so upset and emotional about the door being left open that she 'couldnt handle it' and had to leave. Minor things like this causing major end-of-the-world reactions are happening a few times a week now.

There are 2 things coming out of this; number 1 being that I'm worried that these side effects of depressive behaivour are maybe worse than expected, and Im not sure if it is a side effect of coming off the meds or potentially a relapse. I just want to be sure that im not watching her relapse, but when shes in her normal state she doesnt think its worth checking with the medical professionals.

Send second thing is that i am now struggling with going through this, exaggerated by quarantine and not being able to interact with others. I'm finding it hard to be supportive 100% of the time, and there are moments where it frustrates me so much that I argue back in the moment and forget this isnt really her. This just makes things worse. Any tips living through this would be much appreciated!

[Sophie_M]

Hi Flamps8,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, we're so glad you decided to join us! We're so sorry to hear about what you are going through with your partner. We understand how difficult it is to be trying to support her through this, particularly during this time. Please know that our community is here to support you.  

As you have said that this is being exaggerated by quarantine, we'd encourage you to visit our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. The website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. 

Many of our members can relate and hopefully offer some advice. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what you're going through and how we can best help you get through this tough period.

[Croix]

Dear Flamps8~

I'll join Sophie_M in welcoming you here where umpteen of us (me included a fair number of times) had tailed off medication, hopefully under supervision.

Long term medication does take time to dissipate, and in the interim it is true, there can be all sorts of side effects, I've had heightened anxiety/depression myself on at least one occasion during this process.

I guess your worry is valid, is your partner undergoing heavy withdrawal side-effects or is she becoming more unwell. The only people who can answer that are medical professionals, in short her doctor and psych. They also need to regulate rate of withdrawal with the effect that is having. for them no news means all's OK.

So I guess you have two difficult tasks in front of you. The first is to ensure she has adequate medical supervision. Ideally she should keep a record or journal of her moods and reactions every day, and then discuss the results every week (unless there is an emergency) with her doctors. This is something I've done, and found I'd previously tended to minimize or forget incidents that were significant.

Do you think she would do this for you -as opposed to for her?

The other hard task is to have boundaries, most difficult when you cannot go elsewhere, however you need them. Watching a person you love suffer is one thing, having them behave in such a way as to provoke anger is another.

So what possibilities do you think might work when you are starting to react, something like "I don't want to continue this discussion" and move away or ... ?

You did mention one other thing isolation has cut out your interaction with others. Is there any way you can remedy this via Skype or similar, even have a regular card game with friends (ones that don't cheat of course) or something else?

Croix (who would like to mention there are only 4 aces in a pack in case a 'friend' produces more:)

[Aussiekeke]

I am experiencing the same thing with my wife at moment. It is very helpful to find someone similar in this forum that I can rely to. Thanks