Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

My wife is slowly dying

Community Member

My wife of 30+ years is a long-term transplant recipient, even though the transplant has been a success and has given her many extra years of life there have been many steps down in her health every couple of years, now in her 50's the antirejection meds have taken their toll and she now struggles to stay awake for a full day or stay asleep for a full night and has no energy to do much at all, the steroids she's on are making her skin so thin it breaks with minor bumps, she has almost died twice in the last couple years due to some health complications so after the family has dealt with this they now tend to stay away which of course adds to her depression and my stress.

At the moment not sure what I'm asking here but maybe there's some good advice out there.

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome,


A difficult post to answer but I'll try.


Life involves challenges and some of those challenges are beyond what we generally can cope with. My lovely wife and I went through similar just 2 years ago with her mum, Parkinsons, aged care etc. Some family stayed away also.


So what is the answer? Well a former boss of mine summed it up- "we fall down and every time we have to get up, dust ourselves off and do it all again tomorrow because as long as there is a breath to be taken, we have hope".  Yes, easier said than done and I'd never diminish the seriousness of your struggles but I'd take the view that if people wanted not to visit, that's their choice, she has you and that's all that matters and what a great Husband you be.


There is a few threads you can read. You only need to read the first post of each. I hope you like them and get value out of it.


30 minutes can change your life - Beyond Blue Forums - 154525


Humility and "the good samaritan" - Beyond Blue Forums - 307504




They not share the moments you do

She has you though and friends a few

And the pain we relieve and understand

A cuppa, a chat and your guiding hand


There's something special in your care for her

Your mind will wander to how things were

But your humility and heart binds you as one

Every dawn has a setting sun


So squeeze her hand a little more

your love will travel to her core

Enjoy the pleasure of a rising sun

both together and joined as one...