Hi CosmosMary
Your son is so blessed to have such a loving and supportive mum, he really is. To have someone in our life who is doing their best to raise us when we're down, is definitely a blessing. While lots of folk may be inclined to say things like 'You'll be right' or 'You just need to get on with life', to have someone who's devoted to researching how to make things right and how to get on with life or make it through the tougher challenges is a whole other thing.
As you mention, your son faces a whole number of challenges that have all culminated into what presents as life feeling hopeless for him. I'd have to say one of the best pieces of advice I've received in life came from my brother. He advised me something along the lines of 'You've got to have a goal or set of goals in life. Doesn't matter how big or small, you've got to have goals. Your goals help you establish your sense of direction, your vision and a sense of progress, otherwise you're standing still with nothing to look forward to'. From my own personal experience, I have to say 'Twisting in the wind with no sense of direction' can become an incredibly depressing feeling, the longer it goes on for. I'd like to add that my brother, who turned 60 last month has a four year old son, his first child. I smile when I say that with him being an incredible visionary, 10 years ago he'd never have seen that one coming. It's not too late for your son to look forward to fatherhood.
A strange question perhaps but what can't your son see (as a visionary) that he needs to see? At the moment everything looks dark or there is no positive vision at all. You could say he's lost his sight. You may need to see for him during this time and find others who can as well. While the following may not necessarily help with your son, what someone led me to see for my 19yo son (diagnosed with high functioning autism) and my 22yo daughter (diagnosed with ADHD) was the need for structure in their daily life. While eating breakfast every day at a certain time may not seem like any great goal, repeated daily it becomes 1)a simple goal, 2)part of a daily structure and 3)a basic achievement. Same applies to having a shower, cooking dinner (which my son is doing as I write this) etc etc.
While it can be just about impossible to reform our self all at once, bit by bit can often be the way to go. It may not seem like much but it can gradually add up to us becoming a completely different person, compared to who we once were. Is there anything that you see for him, anything or anyone that comes to mind that could possibly help with a sense of direction?
