Living with someone with PTSD & Anxiety.

[LivingHome]

I am looking for other people who live with/married to, someone with PTSD anxiety and what they do to look after themselves?

The lack of communication, enthusiasm, failure to participate in life & constantly having to motivate my husband is starting to wear me down. He has regular Psych appointments & he is medicated but learnt behaviours and coping mechanisms means that we are constantly on a tail chasing story.

How do other partners get fulfilment in their lives?

How do they stop their partners' anxiety/depression suffocating their lives or break free from Ground hog day?

How do they stop feeling depressed?

I understand his diagnosis and support him, but I noticed I am starting to unravel. I am tired of "talking" about his lack of acknowledgement of the things that happen to me. I am tired and hurt & over being angry. 

[Loving_and_living]

I look after myself by being part of specific support groups. My hubby is ex military with PTSD, depression, anxiety and other physical illnesses. Carer fatigue is so real.

I am part of Operation PTSD Support, and they organise respite retreats and social inclusion events so i dont feel alone. It is great as everyone there just gets it , i can vent without judgement and speak honestly without someone saying "why do you put up with that" or "that would be a deal breaker for me" they understand i still love my husband very much, just some days i am exhausted, and somedays i dont feel like putting up with it. I hate what depression and anxiety do to our family but i love my husband more. I have no intension of just walking away, but those that don't live with it, really don't understand.

My husband is never abusive or violent, and i do not believe i could stay if that was the case, but through support groups i have found some amazing friends who i know will always be there for me and that helps me get through the tough days on this mental illness roller coaster.

[Living]

Hi,

husband is ex services and suffers ptsd which he only discovered last year after I had been urging him to go and talk to someone for close to 10 years. How do you all differentiate between your partners personality and the ptsd - I find it hard, as I don’t know weather it is the ptsd talking sometimes or he is just being an a hole! I don’t know weather to be forgiving or put my foot down.

[Purple_People_Eater]

Hi Living

My dad is an ex war Veteran involved in helping other veterans and there families.

Did you know about Open Arms - The Veterans and Families counselling service? https://www.openarms.gov.au/

It's free, and you would both be eligible for help.

Good luck

PPE

[Handmade]

Hi there.

I'm new to forums. Living with serving Police officer husband with undiagnosed PTSD. It's at it's peak and we are at breaking point. We have a good supportive network, but he is yet to admit there is a problem. I've had PND and I understand the difficulties of mental health, as a health care professional myself.

Things are difficult at the moment, but they aren't always; we go through peaks and troughs. I feel like specific jobs are sometimes a trigger for him which puts us out for a month at a time. I don't feel like he listens and I feel blamed for his moods. I always try to find the balance between being supportive and smothering, giving advice, and nagging.

I have a good friend to talk to but I don't feel like I can fully open up. I have counselling available through work and will consider talking to them shortly. He feels like he can't talk to someone at work for fear of being made restricted.

I'd like to hear from similar story people too.

🙂

[Handmade]

Original post, hello.

I feel like I could have written some of your post myself. Lots of tricky questions.

In short, between full time shift work for both hubby and I, and three school aged kids, I am an opportunist. I find it difficult to plan things around our shifts. We will often just find ourselves one day at home with the kids at school, and will decide to go out for breakfast.

Hubby likes to go to the movies. I like to sew. Most times we do those things separately. This is both good and bad. We have little time between opposing shifts to do things together, so we need to be assertive in doing something decent (and not just do the housework because it's gotten away from us), on the days when we have off together.

We dont always get it right. We dont always prioritise each other. We get things wrong. We try hard. We give up. We argue. But we try.

Hubby likes to go on holidays. I'm short on leave post study, but he has enjoyed time away with mates and I encourage this. He always likes working on his car project, which I will be encouraging today.

He is undiagnosed, I can see several MHI within him, PTSD, depression, anxiety, OCD. It's tricky. My job is to love him and let him know he is supported. It's hard when he can't see that's my motive.

Keep trying to do things that work for your family. It can be hard. It's good to have a forum like this to talk about things to support the supporters x

[Handmade]

To clarify - we both have psychological support through work. He is high-functioning. We are ok, I know this is a patch we will get through. He has a great support network and comradare is strong. We have positive support buffers.

[Delta_B]

Hi 3Monkeys

Just wanted to say thank you!

I’m new to forums and posting about anything but really needed to find some support from people who are in the same position as me. Your post has helped enormously to know that I’m not alone. My partner has ptsd, anxiety and depression from serving in the fire brigade for 10 years and things are constantly tough at the moment. It all seems to be getting worse. He isn’t working anymore so just like you I am working full time, bringing up two children and running the household. It’s not an easy when he shuts down, doesn’t talk to me, gets angry and blames me for everything. I’m constantly walking on eggshells. But anyway thanks again for posting! Hopefully we can all be each other’s support.

[Nona]

Hi LivingHome, your post really spoke to me not only as a partner with PTSD but as a parent of a child with Asd. Did you find a way to look after yourself or place boundaries? If so I could use a tip.

After 15 years I’m at the stage where I don’t think I can be any more mentally or physically tired.

[berg401]

Hi everyone,

Approx 18 months ago DVA changed their policy on mental health. Any one that has served 24hrs continuous in the Australian defence, is eligible for non liability mental health care within Australia.

https://www.dva.gov.au/providers/dva-provider-news/dva-extends-non-liability-health-care-all-mental-health-conditions