Fish bowl

[Lilly18]

Struggling very lost and confused. Been to hospital earlier this year but I didn’t continue with the medication I was put on while in there. I had a psychologist but I just wouldn’t show up to the appointments I was either in bed depressed or thinking I was fine and don’t need to go. I don’t see the point in anything what so ever. happy people make me angry, people reaching out to me make me angry and think they’re talking about me. I have been trying to sleep my life away it’s just painful. Been wanting to self harm and thoughts of suicide come especially when I’m trying to go to sleep at night. I can’t get myself to phone or go to the psychologist even if it would be helpful

[Lilly18]

Never mind Got some whiskey to wash it down

[Sophie_M]

Hi Lilly18,

Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others, many will understand some of what you’re going through. We can hear how difficult things have been, we’re so sorry that’s been going on.

It sounds like you’ve been struggling with your ongoing forms of support. It’s incredibly difficult when treatment doesn’t have any quick answers, and it can be a really difficult journey. We encourage you to keep your prescribing doctor updated on what’s going on for you and seek a second opinion from a differing doctor if are looking for additional perspectives on your medication.

If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors can be good to talk to right in the midst of such a difficult time. You can also reach them via Online Chat.

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.

Kind regards,
Sophie M
 

[smallwolf]

I hear how much pain you're in and how alone you must feel. Please know that you have value, even when depression obscures that. There is always hope...

Is there anyone which you feel you can open up and talk to? Perhaps little by little, try letting supportive people into your world - a text or call even. Gentleness with yourself is key too. Each small act of self-care.

I remember your name from other posts on the forums... And you showed courage getting help previously. I know how hard it is to fight inertia when depressed, but you can harness that strength again. Prioritize your health above all else now. You deserve to feel better. Staying present, reaching out to your support team, allowing help in...this war can be won. 

[Lilly18]

Thanks Smallwolf. 

No, no one I could open up to. Family knows, as they had my children while I was in hospital. they’re not someone I’d talk to about this, they know I struggle though. 

p. S. I don’t have value. Iam nothing

[smallwolf]

Can you tell me a little about yourself? Perhaps things that interest you? Or used to interest you?

From your post you said you have no value.

And if you permit me ... everyone has inherent value, and sometimes it can be challenging to recognize it within ourselves. Your experiences, feelings, and presence matter. If you're comfortable, I'm here to listen, and we can talk about what you're going through. 

What say you?