30 seconds of survival during tough times: what is yours today?

[Peppermintbach]

Hi everyone,

I have a little survival idea that want to run by you all:

I’m not asking for 30 hours or even 30 minutes. I’m only asking:

If you have been going through a hard time or struggling with something (whatever that may be) what were 30 seconds of respite, reprieve or relief that you experienced today? What were you doing in those 30 seconds?

You can write as often as you like or as infrequently as you like. It also doesn’t have to be 30 seconds either. That’s just a number that I chose, because I thought it would be doable for most people. It can be more or less than 30 seconds of survival.

I would love to hear from you 🙂

I’ll start:

On my way to work, I spotted some Christmas decorations, and instantly thought “oh, that’s so pretty!”

30 seconds of relief from my troubles. 30 seconds of survival.

Background/inspiration for this thread:

I was inspired by a book that I’ve been reading. It’s based on real life events where a woman lost her husband unexpectedly, and was left both a widow & single parent overnight.

As you can imagine, she struggled with immense grief and loss, and was unsure when she would be able to see beyond it...reminders of him were everywhere, and she wasn’t sure when the pain would ever subside.

But during a work meeting, while giving a presentation (or maybe she was chairing a meeting?), in that brief period, she forgot about her loss as she was immersed in her work. Sure, of course, her grief returned (as it often does). But in that brief moment, she felt a sense of “normalcy”, if there ever was such a thing.

Okay, so maybe work won’t be your “thing” and maybe it’s not grief that you’re struggling with. Maybe it’s something else (that’s okay and valid).

What I’m getting at is recognising our capacity to survive by recalling brief moments of survival. It all adds up...

Moments when either your pain, heartbreak, loss, disappointment (whatever you’re going through) was temporarily forgotten or even subsided a little. Moments, however fleeting but nonetheless important, of survival 🙂

[Speak Your Truth]

Found it Birdy - thank you. 😘 It’s gorgeous. I’m going to send it to a friend who works in a dairy and loves the cows

🤗 for you Birdy and everyone

[PhoebeWings]

Hi Sweet Birdy,

I loved your doggie story. I could imagine the canine craziness as they whooped around your property until... they dropped into their blankets! Just gorgeous!

Thank you again for bringing the poem to not just me, but others here too.

I just realised yesterday afternoon, that my Little White Bull is more accurately Light Blonde. But in bright sunlight the little darling shines white. ❤️

Take care and keep safe,

Phoebe

[quirkywords]

there are some joyful posts here. Thanks everyone.

30 seconds was this morning when I woke up sad and teary and complaining.

It felt all consuming but I decided to my morning writing which I do every morning but I don't want to do!!

kept writing and I wasn't happy at the end but I was not teary.

It worked for me to persevere even though I really didn't want to do it.

as anyone made themselves do something even though they really did not want to do it.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

A warm thank you for your generosity, sharing & insights 🙂

Everyone is welcome to share their 30 seconds, give or take, of relief/respite or even insight.

Cala: I know you’re hurting. I think sometimes we underestimate how debilitating loneliness is...

I think the fact that loneliness is so common is a societal failure, (something is very wrong with society as a whole)...& I’m not even talking about the pandemic.

I’m glad you have the calming app and lavender spray. They both sound enormously soothing.

Padfoot: congratulations on your recording & vocals. I feel very excited for you!

It must be such an incredible feeling to be able to create your own music.

Quirky: I think you’re entitled to your feelings of sadness & wanting to complain. “You don’t owe anyone a performance of of being okay” - Daniell Koepke’s quote.

I’m really glad that writing helped you to process some of your feelings 🙂

Has anyone made themselves do something even though they really did not want to do it?

Me: (laughs) daily

Sleepy: it sounds as though you’re struggling too & feeling on edge. I’m glad you got through to the help line & that the walk seemed relaxing...

Loneliness is awful. Normally, I have an orbit of offline support around me, but everything is virtual now.

I know it’s not the same, & I’m aware that I’m privileged & lucky in many ways. But the recent social isolation has given me a (very small) insight into how hard it must be...& if I’m feeling so unhappy only after about a month, how hard must it be for people where it’s a chronic problem? I’m not saying that’s you, but just a general comment...

Phoebe: your lavender & wild orange sounds divine. Gorgeous fragrances 🙂

I smiled about your friends making you laugh through their texts. My thoughts are with the people who live in the UK. Hard times....

I hope the Little Blonde Bull is doing well 🙂

Gambit: congratulations on 10 years! Talk about stamina & loyalty. It sounds like it has been a great learning experience for you, & your colleagues sound wonderful too 🙂

Lovely b: my friend, you’re most welcome. Thank you for helping to keep this thread going.

I smiled reading about your boys’ excitement. I suppose after being inside for a bit, they got to taste freedom again & couldn’t contain their joy 🙂

I’m happy that you & Phoebe connected through that poem. It was clearly a very special moment of connection, joy & understanding for both of you xoxox

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[Tay100]

My 30 seconds today involved taking a walk with my dog after the content of my online meeting had me overwhelmed...can anyone relate to the struggles of trying to discuss complex topics over Zoom, Skype or the like?

[PhoebeWings]

It’s not exactly 30 seconds - but I was thinking about our lives in this age.

Being in solitude is not necessarily loneliness. One of my favourite books from my childhood is Jane Eyre. Bit weird, a bit something.

We perhaps are more lonely because of the social pressure to be so socially active. It doesn’t suit every character.

I loved Jane Eyre, because she was strong in the most thoroughly lonely way.

But, she didn’t have Facebook or Instagram etc to challenge her true value or self.

She just lived with her own dignity and strength.

Let your 30 seconds be your own solitude, personal dignity and strength. It’s all yours. Don’t let a superficial and silly world construct ruin your sense of self 💐

[quirkywords]

30 secs I just keep moving no looking back simple but it works.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Thank you, as always, for your reflections & sharing of moments of peace 🙂

Phoebe: I think it’s wonderful that you enjoy your solitude. I’ve never read Jane Eyre, but I know of the title 🙂

I agree that solitude can be beautiful, & that there is a subset of the population that needs minimal social contact. Absolutely, that is true.

Although, I think there is a distinction between solitude & loneliness. To me, solitude is when a person is alone & is content in their own company. That is a good feeling 🙂

But I think loneliness is when a person is alone but does not wish to be & has a need to connect with someone else in that moment in time. Alternatively, I think loneliness can also occur when we are surrounded by people who aren’t the right fit for us e.g. an idealistic/emotional/intellectual/etc incompatibility.

For example, if I’m drawing a picture alone & I’m feeling content & enjoying my own company, I see that as solitude. But if I’m drawing a picture by myself but really craving company, I see that as loneliness.

So, I like solitude but I don’t like loneliness. I think they’re 2 different things or in my mind at least 🙂

Quirky: I hope you just keep moving then. That sounds very helpful 🙂

Me: My (more than) 30 sec today is I I feel hopeful, as I just read some good news about a significant reduction in new cases of COVID-19. It is hopeful news for public health in Australia. Really hopeful 🙂

So, on a more self interested level, the capacity to venture beyond my work, supermarket & pharmacist might be on the cards in my state. Not now/immediately of course...it will be a gradual process to lift restrictions, which will take some time & need constant reassessment.

But just knowing that makes me feel very relieved. It means, at some point, I will be getting my life back. I’m not sure when it will happen, but just knowing that gives me hope 🙂

Kindness & care,

Pepper

[PhoebeWings]

Hi Pepper,

You are absolutely right in everything you wrote regarding the difference between solitude and loneliness.

I rather regret my previous post as it was written too quickly and is somewhat black and white in thinking and expression.

I’m someone who loves social interaction, yet perhaps being raised as an only child prepared me for physical aloneness.

But I definitely know the agony of real loneliness.

I think, what I was trying to say, very poorly unfortunately, is that our modern culture of Instagram posts, Facebook updates etc...seems to create a false reality that our lives should ‘look’ like the perfect Instagram/FB share - with a huge score of likes etc.

I just think of all the beautiful young people here who feel squeezed out of ´life’ as they see it, because of this.

Apologies, my words were clumsy and still are.

Life hasn’t always been this way.

I feel a little sad for young folk.

They live in a world of great expectations. Certain social media behaviour just fuels this unrealistic bubble. And too many feel they are on the outside looking in. You know?

I’ll shut up now. Still haven’t really explained myself well 😬

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely people,

Everyone is welcome to share their 30 seconds, give or take, of relief, respite or insight 🙂

Tay: my apologies for accidentally forgetting to reply to you in my last post. It was completely unintentional. A complete oversight on my part. I’m very sorry.

I’m glad going on a walk with your dog gave you some much needed relief & an opportunity to process your emotions. You sound as though you felt very drained from your virtual meeting.

To answer your question: Yes, I also sometimes find it difficult to delve into complex topics virtually. While I’m so grateful for technology that helps us to keep in touch with people who are geographically distant or during the pandemic, it’s not the same as face-to-face communication.

I know non-virtual is a bit hard now with the pandemic though...

Thinking of you, Tay.

Phoebe: it’s all good, you’re welcome to share your thoughts/insights any time 🙂

I think that I understand what you’re getting at, especially after I re-read your earlier post. I probably should have taken the time to read more carefully to begin with, as I have a skim reading habit. I’m sorry for that.

I completely agree with you that social media can give people unrealistic expectations about what their lives should look like. You’re right, it can most definitely be a lot of pressure, & can contribute to mental health issues if people aren’t aware that those platforms are only highlight reels (& do not reflect reality).

Please don’t feel bad about anything you wrote. There is nothing wrong with what you said. I enjoy your insights 🙂 I probably should have just taken the time to read more carefully.

You’re most welcome here any time, & while there is never any pressure to post, I hope to see you here again some time 🙂

Kindness & care,

Pepper