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Scared of my ex friend

Community Member

What can I do , I had a friend and now we are not friends. I am now scared of this person. Naturally because we were friends they have personal details of me know personal information because we were friends and I feel threaten they will use this personal information to inflict harm. I have changed my phone number and blocked them on social media just to try to get away from them. They have threaten they have video surveillance of me using a public road to drop my kids off at school however they believe I am driving past their house. I am not driving past their house I am using a public road that avoids heavy school traffic and lights to get my kids to school and to be able to come home quickly. I feel scared about my own privacy. I worry and feel anxious going out to the shops in fear of running into them. I've gotten to a point I just want to move towns. I feel sick with worry about what they will do next.

5 Replies 5


Dear Overwhelmedandscared,

Welcome back to the forums, we can hear through your post that you are still struggling with your anxiety and truly trying your best to manage. Please be reassured that you are not alone in your feelings and that many other members express similar thoughts of fear and loss of control at points during their recovery. What is important is that you have had the strength to recognize you are struggling and have reach out for assistance. Also driving can be stressful at the best of times and we hope that you are remaining safe and focusing on the drive and not the individual of concern while actively driving.  

As you are seeking other members advice, please remember you are more likely to receive replies if you get involved with the community, respond and talk to members on existing threads, in addition to starting a thread of your own. Here are some thread links that you may find useful regarding anxiety, to get you started-   https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/your-positive-story-please-share   https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety

Please also note, it’s worth remembering that immediate support is not available via the forums. Some days are slower than others, and some topics hit home with people more than others. The number of replies received will always vary from day to day.     

If you need more immediate contact, please use our support service either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support

It’s great you’ve come back to the community and that you feel comfortable in sharing and discussing your journey of recovery, it is an ongoing process, and we are here to support you on that journey. We hope that you find the support, experiences and suggestions of peers within the community to be helpful and we encourage you to continue engaging on the forums.  

Warm regards, 

Sophie M

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Overwhelmedandscared, I would think that conversations with other people are told to other people, with or without any extra details that may be distorted, if you go to the supermarket and meet someone who most people know, then tales and gossip may spread to everyone they see.

I know this happens with me and told by other people that Mr or Mrs X have been spreading the rumour that this *** comment is being told to other people.

I can't stop this from happening, but what I can do is deny it when someone tells me, some people may accept these tales, while others just deny it, at least I'm being spoken about, this all depends on how you are feeling, if you aren't feeling well yourself then it's going to bother you, whereas if you don't care then it's no trouble at all.

From what you have said, you are scared this may happen and that's understandable because not only have you lost a friend, they may be spreading rumours that aren't true.

You can't be sure whether they do have video surveillance or they could just be trying to show some dominance over you, and if you drop your kids off to school this way, that's only your concern and nothing to do with them.

May be you change the times you go shopping, but if you do this then you are controlled by her, instead if you see them at the shops, ignore them, that will aggravate them more than you trying to make a conversation with them, and slowly build up your strength.

Don't forget if you move towns then there's a possibility it could happen again, so can I suggest you visit your doctor.

Please let us know how you feel.

Take care.


Community Member

Hey Overwhelmedandscared

I was just wondering if there was anyone you know you could talk to about this. Anxiety is really hard.
Maybe a parent, grandparent, Aunty, uncle, doctor, friend Cousin.

I know it’s easier to talk to people who you don’t know and don’t know you, but you don’t have to do everything on your own.

It must be very scary, being afraid of this person. I hope you can find more support.

Community Champion
Community Champion

hi there,

i am sorry this is happening to you. it would be natural to feel scared and stressed for your safety.

anxiety is debilitating but seeing the doctor and a psychologist really helped me - could you do this? you are not alone.

would the police need to get involved is this person is threatening you? perhaps a restraining order?

hope things improve,

jaz xx

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Overwhelmed,

I am sorry that you are feeling this way and it’s quite clear from your post that this is leaving you with a feeling of despair and anxiety.

From my own lived experience my advice would be that one of the first steps is to recognise the feeling of being anxious/worried and then challenging this level of anxiety by focusing on the future.forward.

You cannot change the past but you are in the driving seat to influence and deliver positive change for your future.

I also think you are doing the right thing by disengaging with this individual.

Secondly, if you have not already done so I recommend that you reach out to your GP who could provide some medication and counselling to support and manage your anxiety.

Keep well, safe and finally keep the focus on you and the future.