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Please help ... my heart is always aching and my stomach dosent stop churning!

Community Member

Hey everyone

I need help. I'm in my very early 20s and got married now with a 3 month daughter. My husband and I are very happy together .. Unfortunately I'm not happy with his family. 

When my husband first came to ask for my hand I met his mother and sisters ... and all I felt was stabbing pains in my stomach. When we were engaged I used to always message his mother and always maintained my respect. 

Ever since I got married it's been going down hill. She always complains that I don't call and she dosent like to see messages from me even if I call 3x a week it's no enough. If I don't go over much she gets upset and being over 3x a week isn't enough.  She once came over crying saying my son loves you more than me, if you told him to do something for you he will do it and not for me. I got blamed for my husband's weight. And my mil embarrassed me in front of everyone and said why my husband's shirt wasn't ironed. She gets mad when I don't stand next to her in the kitchen asking her what she's cooking. She told me she wants her son to tell her make me my favorite dish. 

When I was 9 months pregnant we went to the south coast with my inlaws and stayed in the same apartment room and she got mad why I didn't clean and cook . And I was in excruciating pain it felt like i had a bowling ball between my legs.  She's so manipulative.  My Sil messaged me saying I'm the reason because of her mother's depression. 

My fil told his other son that I'm dirty and my husband comes back home to open legs and where did his son find me from. My Sil shows me silent treatment I tried talking to her she completely turned her her face the other way. I'm fed up with it cry every night.  He humiliated me my fil in front of everyone and said to me "do you thinki was born yesterday your too touchy about everything and what your mil tell you" 

My mil had photos of me and her on fb she took them off and started attacking me on fb with quotes and put up little films of a lady getting married to a man and the man neglects his mother

My fil and mil think I've got their son wrapped around my finger.  My mil complained once when I went for a walk and wondered where did I go because she thought her son wouldn't let me which he had no problem with. 

My sils are such bias people! Please help me I'm in tears and need advice. 

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hello lyta jay,

Okay from what you have written here I can understand why you are not happy with your partner's family. If you are visiting 3 times a week and they are not happy this seems a bit excessive to me. Unless your mil was doing child minding or something useful I personally would not expect more than weekly visits or phone calls at the most. Although I have never had my own or my partners parents showing this much interest in me. Others may have a different idea. You cannot be the blame for somebody else's depression. I am wondering what your partner thinks of all this?



Community Member

Hi hun, I have just joined this site! I haven't yet talked about myself, BUT I just read your post. Oh hun, I have been married for 21 years and its not easy. Tell your hubby whats going on if he is not going to protect you and stick up for you i would consider leaving. This will be the reason your marriage wont last, doesn't matter how much you love each other there will always be this huge problem. You have to talk to your hubby, maybe he doesn't see any of this. Don't let them get to you. Block their numbers, I have been married for too long and im unhappy and I have different problems, you will resent your husband. You are not the problem and don't ever believe you are. You have the right to stand up for you and your baby and your marriage. Don't be afraid to tell them all you know what! Don't waste your tears, your MIL sounds like a trouble maker, delete any social media that is connected with the in laws. Be Brave stand up to them, you know deep down inside what the outcome will be, but baby girl, stand up for yourself, cause you don't want a life time of un happiness.