My anxiety is affecting my relationship

[Krisv6]

I am not in the easiest relationship but I'm in one that's worth it. My partner has suffered in abusive relationships in the past which cause her to be irrational and have anger outbursts. Usually I would remain patient and be understanding at times where she feels angry, irrational and is difficult to talk to. She does not want to be ignored but when she's suffering it can be difficult on me with things that she says to me.

Im currently doing by best to address my anxiety which has recently spiralled to a point where I'm reaching out. My anxiety is taking the form of my relationship right now. I've lost my ability to remain calm and patient when she goes through rough days when she has outburstst and mood changes. I fear them at the moment because I don't know what the right way to approach them is. I often feel inadequate that I'm having difficulty dealing with them now and fearful of the next one.

How do I remain centred when I know that reaching out is the right thing to do but I have to be persistent through being ignored and pushed away?

What is the right away to approach a victim of past abuse when they are going through a rough stage?

[Hope_for_the_best]

It is very difficult to give relationship advice online, but it looks like both of you need help. I would suggest that you book in for couple counselling. You need to address your anxiety and find a way to support her without making yourself uncomfortable. She needs to address the trauma from previous abusive relationships and find a better way to cope.

Hope this helps.

[geoff]

hi Kris, it can be very difficult living with someone who is suffering from depression, especially when they verbally view their point of view, where nothing you say will ever be able to solve the situation.
Step back and start getting the help you need for yourself, it's a tough place to be, but you must look after yourself first.
You can't deal with any of this if you're not strong enough, and what I mean by being strong is that have to get yourself to feel better within yourself, so when the yelling begins you are able not to be affected by it, at the moment that's what it's doing.
I'm not sure whether your partner is getting medical help, I hope so, but if not then maybe her mother/sister will be able to take her.
She will need to have her medication reviewed, that's if she is taking any and you can let us know.
Please don't procrastinate with yourself go and see your doctor, but please get back to us. Geoff.