Mummy to a large family..
Hi and welcome Utbh to BeyondBlue forum;
It's great you've had the courage to seek help and look out of the box here on BB. I hear your frustration and sadness thru the page.
I'm not the mum of a large family, but I am a mum who's had some pretty awful and traumatic things happen. Crying into your pillow is healthy...yes, God knows how difficult it can be raring a family especially with 5 kids.
Time for you is so important. Mum's get lost among the daily tasks and responsibilities where we seem to blend into the background. It's a balancing act of sorts. I used to go out in my car late at night to cry and vent. Having a bath used to help too. Solitude would be hard to find I bet in your house.
Having someone to talk with like your husband, a friend or neighbour, or ideally a GP/counsellor/psychologist might help to begin with. Lifeline and BeyondBlue Live Crisis Chat Lines are excellent ways to find someone who's there just for you.
At the bottom of this page are info links where you might find something in line with your issues. In your community there might be a group of mum's like yourself, or support groups for women attached to the hospital or community centre. It's worth having a look-see.
For me? I used to invite the ladies from my neighbourhood over for coffee. We all ended up giving each other time out now and then, though not all neighbours were this friendly. I hope you have someone in your corner. Does hubby help out so you can catch a movie or walk in the park? (Either alone or with him?)
On this site, we care. We're here to listen and give you space to be who you want to be and say whatever it is that ails you, or makes you feel better. Have a look around our threads because there might already be someone similar to you who 'gels' with your situation.
I wish you well and congrat's on creating your own thread. Keep in touch and vent your little heart out if you feel like it ok?
If you like it would be great to hear back from you, and I know that you have said that hopefully it will get better, and so do we, but at this point you are finding it to be very difficult, so I hope that we are able to help you. Geoff. x
Thanks for the replies guys.. Today is a new day.. Im okay today, I could be better, but im okay.. even before your replies i felt the cloud shift a little, i went straight to sleep..
See I'm a listener, I'm not much of a venter.. I think just accepting Im feeling overwhelmed made me feel better, weird eh..
Hubby does okay, and my kids are my world all five of them.. my problem is im a proud woman, i dont ask for help even though deep down i know i could do with some.. But I still dont and I still get by..
In regards to time out for myself, a trip to the shop with no kids is like a holiday to me.. so no, i dont get much time out and i get through this by reminding myself my kids wont be at home forever..
Anyway being a school day, I have a 100 things to do.. again thank you for replying and confirming its okay to feel bad.. I will be okay! X
So great to hear back from you Utbh!
It's amazing to also see you're back on track. Well done! I know you say you're waiting around for your kids to grow up, but now's the time you need to make a date with yourself each week. The little episode you had could be your mind letting you know something's on the rise.
Please keep who you are at the fore; put the oxygen mask on yourself before the kids and hubby ok? You are your biggest supporter...
Lovely to hear from you again...Sara xo
Thank you for your replies again guys..
Sara you seem like a very wise woman.. its true I need to get back to me sometimes, but with my youngest being 2 and oldest being 8 its hard.. I do things for me and tag them along, if that makes sense.. like going to the beach, i love the water (and am lucky to live 5 mins from there) so the kids get to play and i get to relax, also enclosed parks with a cup of coffee.. very much my thing..
And anxious97, thank you I do try my very best.. I didnt have that so i promise my Kids that i will move mountains for them.. sometimes hard, sometimes overwhelming.. but it can be done..
Thank again everyone. If any of you ever feel like a chat Im always available..
Enjoy your hump day xo