Hi and welcome Utbh to BeyondBlue forum;
It's great you've had the courage to seek help and look out of the box here on BB. I hear your frustration and sadness thru the page.
I'm not the mum of a large family, but I am a mum who's had some pretty awful and traumatic things happen. Crying into your pillow is healthy...yes, God knows how difficult it can be raring a family especially with 5 kids.
Time for you is so important. Mum's get lost among the daily tasks and responsibilities where we seem to blend into the background. It's a balancing act of sorts. I used to go out in my car late at night to cry and vent. Having a bath used to help too. Solitude would be hard to find I bet in your house.
Having someone to talk with like your husband, a friend or neighbour, or ideally a GP/counsellor/psychologist might help to begin with. Lifeline and BeyondBlue Live Crisis Chat Lines are excellent ways to find someone who's there just for you.
At the bottom of this page are info links where you might find something in line with your issues. In your community there might be a group of mum's like yourself, or support groups for women attached to the hospital or community centre. It's worth having a look-see.
For me? I used to invite the ladies from my neighbourhood over for coffee. We all ended up giving each other time out now and then, though not all neighbours were this friendly. I hope you have someone in your corner. Does hubby help out so you can catch a movie or walk in the park? (Either alone or with him?)
On this site, we care. We're here to listen and give you space to be who you want to be and say whatever it is that ails you, or makes you feel better. Have a look around our threads because there might already be someone similar to you who 'gels' with your situation.
I wish you well and congrat's on creating your own thread. Keep in touch and vent your little heart out if you feel like it ok?
Sara (Hugs)
