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moved to a new country and hate my current school

Community Member

I'm a year 10 student who recently moved to Australia 4 months ago. life here has been great so far, but I've had problems with socializing in my school. I've never been one to socialize a lot because I find talking a little intimidating, but I tried my best to talk to people and eventually found a group of people. however, i always seem to be left out from their activities and because the group is quite big, it's made of 5 close groups of people. i always seem to be left out as I'm not that close to any of the people to be considered in their friend group, and they constantly talk about inside jokes and plan personal hangouts without me. I have 3 other people in my class, but today all of them announced they were switching to another class to be with their friends, leaving me the only person left in the class. what can I do to get closer to them or should I try another way? 



I know that sometimes it's better to leave a friend group instead of mending my relationship with them, but I've always been scared of starting again. it took me a long time to find my current friend group and it took a lot of courage, and I'm scared of starting again with nothing. I hate talking to new people and being put in an new environment, so I'm just wondering how I can improve my situation. all answers are welcome, so please respond!

1 Reply 1

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

I think it's important to have the support of friends even if it is not all that embracing - you do have these friends but there is a distance that may not be reduced until you experience some defining moment that brings you closer together. Until then you remain on the periphery and that's just fine and quite understandable - 4 months isn't all that long to develop much significance within a group but you still have much to offer.

However, trying to mold yourself to the peer group can become unhealthy if you make too many compromises (leaving a class sounds pretty extreme), and impatience will only lead to frustration where you might inadvertently say/do something out of character. Sometimes you just have to let go to feel better about yourself. In a positive frame of mind you will be more likely to discover new avenues to explore where you feel perfectly at ease.

In the end, it is our unique qualities that define us, so stay true to your values by observing the similarities and differences in everyone without fear or comparison. You are worthy just by being you.