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In your opinion should I feel guilty because of this?

Community Member
I just had a bit of an argument with my Grandmother in law. She was saying that retail workers and cafe staff etc should never be able to have an off moment. Eg have a slight tone, seem flustered or unhappy. No matter how customers are behaving towards them. This had me very upset. And I tried to just ignore it. But then the next topic of conversation came up and she said something along the lines about how if someone is being arrogant to you that you shouldn’t stand for it. (I can’t remember exact words and there was a lot more detail in the conversations but I’m trying to be brief). So I said, “you just said retail workers should just put up with it” and mentioned a story about me being in the situation of someone abusing me when I was very young working retail and witnessing people being treated badly in retail on other occasions. She just tried to brush it off saying. I worked as a waitress and I just took it etc.

I got quite upset and left the room. I got as upset as I did for a few reasons. One - that topic upset me, because I don’t like how people think they can treat retail staff like garbage. Two - she can be not very nice to retail and cafe workers herself. Three - she was being hypercritical in my opinion. Four - she kept saying I worked as a waitress for years and I was always nice no matter how I was treated etc.

I’m worried I seemed too crazy about it. I have severe anxiety problems (which she and other family members who were there know). They had been talking about topic after topic of things that were really stressful to me the whole time we were together so I was already on edge. I tried to stay calm. But I just had to voice my opinion. And I think I came across like a crazy person with how upset I got.

There are also some past issues my husband and I have had with his grandparents that had nothing to do with today. And we have been trying to keep piece for his mums sake. So I was on edge about my feelings about that stuff as well. I feel like I just kind of exploded a little. I didn’t yell. But I was obviously cranky. My husband agrees with me. His mum understand why I was upset. But I just feel guilty that I upset his Grandmother and feel like everyone else thinks I’m crazy
13 Replies 13

Hello RedRose, welcome to the site.

Times have changed from when your Grandmother in law was doing her shopping, whatever that may be, to the current day, so if for example, your GMIL told you how to do an arithmetic sum, such as multiplying a number by another number, like back in her day, you would say is 'I use the calculator to do this', she would be horrified, whether or not she is right or wrong doesn't matter, times have changed and how we react to another person aren't the same as when she was young.

Likewise how she paid for an item would have been by cash and cash only, whereas today we mostly use the plastic card, so I wouldn't worry too much, sometimes they can't keep up with what now happens in today's society.

Take care.


Community Member

Yep. I can also concur that harassment occurs when working in retail.

Traumatising effort from some very unearthly people.

I don't ask for much when shopping but I do recognise when consumers turn from customary to viciousness. Sadly, the greed of the 1%, maybe 3% are over paying morality and demoralising the people.

Self doubt is bad for the soul, don't care too much for others opinions and impressions of you. Just do you, and maintain self-awareness. You'll feel better for it.

I catch myself saying sorry to much. It just slips into a sentence when I don't know what I'm getting at or don't know how to conclude a point. Sadly it's a way of not um-ing and ah-ing when I'm stuck on a thought.

Don't worry it was worse when I was young. I've learnt to optimise the word by changing the pitch to and uplifting tone.