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I have just REALISED my partner has Bipolar and I am being ABUSED

Community Member

Wow where do I start. I can’t begin to tell you just how low and numb I am feeling. I am 34 with a 3yo little girl. my partner and I have been together for 6 years. Got engaged when I was 7 months pregnant. I love this man wholeheartedly and have stood by him during some pretty rough times and he has an anger issue.

I have always see the good side, and felt so very loved back in the beginning. Ever since our baby girl was born I feel he has grown less respect for me somehow.

For 3 years now I get reminded that he has to pay my way was well as his and as well as our little girls. i also get reminded that I don’t look like I did when he met me.

His hyper mania episodes started about 3 months ago. his scattered state and inability to complete anything he starts at home is increasing daily. He is often accused of being on drugs. Which I have not seen him do, but who knows.

Major symptoms / actions are:-

- multiple ups and downs on a daily basis

- very loud and demeaning yelling at me, blaming me for everything in life

- then 1 hour later will try hugging me

- starts multiple projects at once, never completes them

- sick obsession with making money

- talks over Everyone

- angry and easy irritated

- weird / unnecessary fixation on having ALL the clothes washing completed on a daily basis.

- bang on his chest really hard and yell so loudly - BEAST MODE BABY - IM A BEAST.

- he has 14 journals....

Every day is getting worse, he sometimes stays up all night without sleeping, “working”.

Im worried for him, I love him dearly. But I am starting to worry about myself. I can’t take anymore abusive comments, or hypocritical jabs. Says one thing one minute, but will change his mind the next day to suit himself. I want to move out, but I have no income currently. I can’t be beat him when he’s in an elevated state. It’s too hurtful now. I have been taking this emotional and mental abuse for nearly 3 years, but I have only come into realisation last week. But the last 3 years of abuse is now taking its toll on my mental state of being and my emotions. I have given up everything, and I am left with self hatred. I’m hurting.. badly. My anxiety attacks are increasing in frequency. I don’t want to be yelled at anymore, but I also am having difficulty in believing that overnight he doesn’t want this relationship anymore.. please, any advice on getting him tested or diagnosed? I don’t Know what to do?


1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

SLC28 welcome to the forum,

This is a friendly and supportive place .

Would he be willing to see a doctor?

As you realise when someone is hypermanic it is very difficult to reason with them.

So the best time is when he is not high or low and seems reasonable to have a chat with him.

It is very difficult when someone refuses help and I personally refused help for many years.

If he refuses help, is it possible for you to talk to a doctor to help with your mental health and to get support.

Does he have times when he isn't manic, is he ever depressed?

I have had bipolar for over 40 years so I have a lived experience but is just my experience.

I can relate to some of the points you listed that your partner does when manic, especially the 14 journals, and being irritated easily.

I am concerned about you and your daughter as you need to get help for yourself.

You can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for help.

I understand your partner may be unwell but you deserve to be treated well. When people are manic they can often have no impulse control and will say and do things they normally would not.

Do you have anyone who can offer you support.

I can see how loyal you have been and how much you have put with up and I would like to see you make yourself a priority.

Thanks again for sharing this story.

Feel free to post here as much as you like.