Frog and the scorpion story- consider that message
For those unaware of this story. .
A scorpion, desperate to get to the other side of a river, asked a frog if he could ride on his back to get there. The frog declined "you'll sting me" said the frog. The scorpion denied he'd do that several times and finally the frog relented and swam across the river with the scorpion on his back.
Just as the frog got to the other side the scorpion stung the frog and the frog lay dying. "But you promised scorpion, that you wouldnt sting me, so why did you"........."because its my NATURE" said the scorpion.
A relationship is the combination of two personalities, individuals with unique qualities and quirks, values and traits, reactions and expressions. Over long periods of time (usually) a couple can predict the others response during conversations. Sometimes the partners responses, actions, expressions are not what you want and you begin to see other people that wouldnt react that way and suddenly the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence.Others wouldnt say that/do that/react like that.
I've brought this topic up because I've got two sets of friends that clearly are going through a tough period in their marriages. All four appear to have little respect for their partners. It's sad to see and their reactions during a dinner with all six of us has turned into a disaster on many occasions. Why is it I ask myself- that there is such lack of respect for each other? I believe its that one or both in such a relationship have not accepted or have lost along the way...the nature of their spouse.
One clear example of this occured at a recent BBQ. The tension began when our female friend asked her husband to "pass the sauce please" her husband grabbed the sauce and held it in his hand while he kept speaking to my wife. 20 seconds went by and the female rolled her eyes at me. I could see her frustration. Then she exploded. "I asked you to pass the sauce and what do you do? keep talking.This is typical of you....no other man treats his wife with such contempt"
I know my male friend very well. His inability to focus on more than one thing is clear to me and is an example of the male's inability to do this -to an extreme. He intended to pass it to her. He got distracted to the point whereby even though the sauce was cradled in his hand- he didnt think to pass it to her to complete her request
Poor memory, easily distracted and many other actions is all a part of someones nature.Best to subtly steer it than to try to change it