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Family or love?

Community Member

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. It's a secret relationship. His family all know about me. But no one from my side knows about him. This is the major cause of my anxiety.

I'm too afraid to tell my parents about him because I know they Will disapprove of him and make me leave him. My sisters are very judgemental and my anxiety is mostly cause by their comments. My friends get suspicious when I get phone calls and texts and constantly ask who I'm talking to.. but I can never open up to them. So I tend to isolate myself and disconnect from everyone. I put a brave face next to my partner but if he brings up my family my anxiety kicks in and I have panic attacks.. my panic attacks are so bad that not even medication can help me. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle and I feel like I have to make a choice between my family or my partner..

I just need some advice or any sort of help ..

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi AyGok. May I ask why he has to be kept a secret. It seems to me that if you're so happy and he treats you well, that would be more than enough to please your family. May I also ask how old you are? Is your bf married, separated. What is the problem? It sounds as though your bf doesn't actually know he is a 'secret', it's not really fair to not tell him, at least. If you're quite young, perhaps still in school, it could be your family might be worried that having a bf could interfere with your school work. If this is the case, I would have a talk with them, explain that he loves you and wishes only the best for you. If your family loves you and are worried, you would be best advised to tell them about your bf and everything is alright. Is it a religious problem, him being a different denomination? Most churches today are fairly liberal in their view.

Could you explain a bit more, so we can advise you better, please?