I was married for 15 years to what I thought was the love of my life but turned into a nightmare domestic violence, controlling, manipulative. It started shortly after having my first child. I used to think it was only when he was drinking but I was wrong. I have 3 children to this man I lived in hell I had no life I was shut off from my family and friends. I had to take my daughter to her first day of school with a bruised and swollen eye hidden with make up and sunglasses the best way I could this became on of many times I had to hide.
A little while down the track I meet a new guy a little younger then me but he helped me he picked me up and helped with my children (id always thought that no one would want me I was broken and unrepairable).
What did I have to loose finally a man that treated me right and loved me the way I deserved to be loved. Until I noticed changes in his behaviour I found him to be messaging other women. I checked his phone and found that he was messaging another younger female much younger I packed his bags and had them ready for when he got home. He come in I was devastated I told him I had seen the messaged and that I wanted him gone he assured me that it wasn't him that someone else had send them messaged even know some of the context in which they where wrote screamed out that they where him and he was soo upset and looked like he was sorry I let him stay.
Shortly after again I found him to be messaging another female I caught it real early and cause there was nothing sexually about it I let it slide. Not long after I found out I was pregnant being 36 years of age my clock was ticking I was excited to be having another child. She is now nearly 6 months old and I have again caught him texting another female this time it went from 0 to 100 in pretty much an instance.
Im broken Im sad Im lost - I dont know what to do Im sick of fighting in life Im sick of always having it hard Im a good person why do I deserve this
