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Broken - Divorced - New Relationship - New Baby - Cheated on how much more can one take

Community Member

I was married for 15 years to what I thought was the love of my life but turned into a nightmare domestic violence, controlling, manipulative. It started shortly after having my first child. I used to think it was only when he was drinking but I was wrong. I have 3 children to this man I lived in hell I had no life I was shut off from my family and friends. I had to take my daughter to her first day of school with a bruised and swollen eye hidden with make up and sunglasses the best way I could this became on of many times I had to hide.

A little while down the track I meet a new guy a little younger then me but he helped me he picked me up and helped with my children (id always thought that no one would want me I was broken and unrepairable).

What did I have to loose finally a man that treated me right and loved me the way I deserved to be loved. Until I noticed changes in his behaviour I found him to be messaging other women. I checked his phone and found that he was messaging another younger female much younger I packed his bags and had them ready for when he got home. He come in I was devastated I told him I had seen the messaged and that I wanted him gone he assured me that it wasn't him that someone else had send them messaged even know some of the context in which they where wrote screamed out that they where him and he was soo upset and looked like he was sorry I let him stay.

Shortly after again I found him to be messaging another female I caught it real early and cause there was nothing sexually about it I let it slide. Not long after I found out I was pregnant being 36 years of age my clock was ticking I was excited to be having another child. She is now nearly 6 months old and I have again caught him texting another female this time it went from 0 to 100 in pretty much an instance.

Im broken Im sad Im lost - I dont know what to do Im sick of fighting in life Im sick of always having it hard Im a good person why do I deserve this

2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

You don't deserve it. Unfortunately, deserve has nothing to do with it. I don't believe anyone gets what they deserve. Very often, good people get bad relationships.. or rather, relationships with toxic people. Which also means that toxic people get relationships with good people.

There are good people out there. There's quite a few right here. I've found everyone has been very supportive and helpful.

I'm sorry that I don't have any advice, other than to get out of this relationship. People make mistakes, sure. But it seems very clear that there's a pattern involving infidelity, and you can't be in a relationship with someone who has betrayed your trust so often.

I hope that things start looking up.

Community Member
Hi em em I have read your post and I truly feel for you . It's never easy finding out that the person your love has been seeking attention elsewhere and worse cheating . You definitely do not deserve it . Often I feel good people continuously get stuck in these bad situation which is sad.

I hope you find the strength to leave and focus on yourself . If leaving that's what your planning on doing.

If their is any intention to stay seek counciling it could really help.

So sorry your going through this .