PTSD I Never Feel Safe

[Megflower]

Hi,

My PTSD peaks then kind of recedes, but seems easily triggered. At the moment I am so lost in it I feel like I can't breathe, and all it took was someone else at work talking about their struggle with it, now I am so raw scared and having trouble pretending to be ok. 

I don't talk to anyone about it, but just his story has made me feel even more disconnected than before its just me and my memories.

I was OK now I am just not, I can't feel safe its sort of like being back there.

I feel bad I can't be better like the man at work, he seems okay he's functioning, I feel bad that I can't make myself better - like as if I am not trying hard enough. 

[Guest_5218]

Hi Megaflower.  I have just been reading through some of the older posts on topics that are relevant to myself.  I can very much relate to your story, and was wondering how you are doing now?  I note that its been a few months since your last post.  I do hope you're okay and that the reason you've not been on here lately is that you are now feeling much better.  I know how hard it is, and I am thinking of you.  xx

[Gruffudd]

Hi there Megaflower,

I really relate to feeling exposed after telling even a little of the story to others. I always really struggle with the balance with being myself and talking about my life and not "oversharing" and making others uncomfortable. I was sexually assaulted by a stranger late one night in year 11 - it has had ramifications in the most unexpected corners of my life and relationships have been awkward (the problem is I don't know what life would have been like without that happening, I have no comparason). There is no weakness in telling our story, I would think using someones story to put them down is the weakness. You sound like despite your experience of trauma you have lived and done some great things, to me that is strength.

Rob.

[Guest_5218]

Yep, agree with Gruffudd here.