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Is this common or its only me .......

momAndWife
Community Member

I am 33 years old married for 9 years and have 2 beautiful kids. I am experiencing so void in my married life. My husband is well educated and hard working guy. He loves his kids and can do anything for them as far as I know him. Its his behaviour with me, he is always busy working or on call with his friends. 
He never touch me or hug me ( he touch me when we have sex) But like normally he never holds my hand or say anything that can show his affection towards me. I work full time mostly from home as my husband but we barely talk. He talk to his friends and family all day long on phone (not sure if this is normal). when ever we fight he accuse me of being possessive and say that I do not want him to go out even say so many mean things eg, "You are a Zero", "you do not have any friends", "you are brainless" , "you are not a good wife", "you do not like my family". But I never have a issue if he go out with his friends once in a week but my problem is he never ask me to go out with him we never went to a romantic dinner or just night out after we had kids. My whole day I work take care of kids , clean the house, make the meals and sleep ( once in a while we have sex). its not that we never had good time we do but now its like we are too busy earning money and saving money that there is no value for emotions. some time I feel like I do not want to live like that and just kill my self but then I think about my kids. sometime I cant breath thinking that one day my husband and I will get divorce. I have spend last 9 years totally dedicated towards my marriage and kids and I cant loose it. what should I do? is there anyone out there who can help me ? 

3 Replies 3

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Hi momAndWife,  

Welcome to the forums and thank you for having the strength to share your story with us. We are so sorry to hear about how difficult things have been lately and it sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you at the moment between work, children and maintaining the house, it's understandable that your husband's behaviour is adding to this pressure. Despite how dfficult its been, we're glad you could share here and hear from others who may have been through something similar.

It sounds like you need some support with this, is there anyone in your life you feel you could talk about this with? If you'd like to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect to discuss how your relationship is going, and to make sure you feel safe and free from abuse within your relationship, they're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome 

If you want to reach out to our counsellors to talk this through, we’re on 1300 22 4636, and you can reach us online here. We can hear that you've had moments of not wanting to live so for those moments please know that this is serious and it's important to seek support whether from us or our friends over at the Suicide Call Back service on 1300 659 467, or Lifeline on 13 11 14.   Thank you again for your strength in sharing here, our kind community will be here to offer their support and understanding.    

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

Thank you so much Sophie, I have friends but mostly they are related to me and my husband and I do not want to talk about my personal life with them. I will call the number you suggested. Once again thank you πŸ™πŸ» 

Shine-011
Community Member

Hi, 

Could we contact somehow. I am in a similar situation and actually tired of bearing it now. Someday are good someday are really bad and made worse by his family member living with us who backside about me once I leave for work. He wants me to work full time, take care of the house after coming back and I can't spend time with my baby. I know this is abuse but I am stuck for the sake of my child.