Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Croix]

Dear Tess~

Cancelling the doctor is understandable and something many would do when feeling as you do right now. That's why I went on about judging by different standards so you would not see that cancellation if it happened as being more than just a temporary hiccup.

Look at it this way, the doctor is a resource for the future, at least offering a little bit of hope for when the time is right. Perhaps those ADs will bring that time closer.

You are dealing with the open home, which is pretty important at the moment, please don't be discouraged

Croix

[Sarzy61]

Hello Grandy,

You sound like such a nice lady. I am a man of Greek origin & cared for my Granny & also my mum who is now 89.

I have just joined this forum today & I hope you might be able to live with your kids if possible.

This is common in our culture & I know family support in the senior years is can be very caring & helpful.

You are in my thoughts now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Thats okay to cancel your Drs appointment, I also done that, I'm so pleased you have started you AD meds again, I have read many posts here where people go off them, then they get worse again then go back on them and start to feel better again.. I hope they do help you.🌹.

Oh the open homes. my friend had a few Once, she made sure that she wasn't there at the open home hours. I sold my house to the first person who looked at it at a really under the market price...I had to get out of there, I just didn't care at the time, now I wished I waited and got what I was asking for..Tess hun, I admire your courage and your strength you are doing an incredible job, even if you can't see it. I can and others can as well..

I hope today goes okay for you, please remember that we're all here for you, if you need to talk or vent..

Please be kind to yourself..xx

Warm and caring hugs🤗🤗.

Grandy xx

[Ggrand]

Hello Sarzy,

Thank you for your very kind words, they really mean a lot to me..

I have heard of that before, the children looking after the parents in their twilight years and I think that is an absolutely beautiful thing to do for your parents...

You sound like you are such a lovely person with a beautiful heart..

Please look after yourself as well..

Kind thoughts.

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Yes, the home open passed, we leave the house and take three dogs and the bird with us!

no offer yet and the market here is depressed so i will be taking a lot less than i had hoped when it does sell. So that will effect what i can buy etc. It is all a massive worry. But i need to move on now. I feel sad and hopeless today. And cant get moving. That is like everyday really. I just want ti feel energised.

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess,

Tess hun, I know you've probably heard this before, but please try not to worry..Are you looking for homes to buy while your one is selling? I know it's going to be hard for you to move on, I hope that I will be able to help you even a little bit.... my thoughts are often with you..

Awe Tess, your not hopeless hun, your doing a really good job of everything..Just try to remember that when you get overwhelmed that you should try to ground yourself and distract yourself...and try to relax with breathing..

Im hoping you have a good sleep tonight please talk when you feel to, I'm never far away...you are important to me Tess and I care for you...(truth not just words)..

warm hugs and kind thoughts..🤗🤗.

Grandy xx

[stormcloudz]

Tess

Just saying hello and keeping you company.

Have you been able to do any knitting or reading lately to distract yourself? I recently tried knitting (with the patient tutoring of a friend) - and to my surprise I found it relaxing!

[Tess2]

Thanks for your thoughts. No i have not read or knitted. I feel unable to do the smallest of things. I am struggling at the moment to see a future.

[stormcloudz]

Tess

I'm so sorry to hear that, I know that some periods in our lives can be completely overwhelmingly and it is hard to see beyond.

Could you try the GP again? I know everything seems like it's too hard at the moment, I understand. Depression tells us that nothing will work, but there is hope. If you like, I will have faith in your future while you are too exhausted.

If you need a distraction, could you tell us about your dog? I find dogs very comforting.

[Tess2]

Thank you stormcloudz

i have two dogs, little poodle crosses. I am not finding much comfort or joy in them at the moment, in fact it seems like a chore looking after them. My anxiety is very high tonight and to see a post is comforting. My son has just given me. Little speech on being positive. I know he is right, but i dont think he knows quite how bad i feel. Mostly as i have always shouldered all the responsibility and supported him. He has his own mental health issues so he does have empathy. And if it wasnt for him i would give up. I want this intense anxiety to go away.