relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[monkey_magic]

Are you still using that mouthwash?

Morning!!!

I suppose I do write from the heart.

Drank the coffee- tasted yum.

My dad has had cafes in his time. I sometimes worked in them and made cappachinos for people- love a good cappachino...

Do u do floor exercises- pushups, sit-ups? Keeps the energy up. More ppl should follow in your example.

It's grey outside- should still get out though- recharge my energy.

Rem how I told u about all those roses where I lived. I live in a complex of townhouses and we have a shared garden. Neighbour chopped them all off. It was overgrown and cheered me up- looked beautiful, there were hundreds of different coloured ones. Why??? Why would you. Other guy that lives here loved them too. She spoiled it...

Look forward to hearing your new thoughts guru....

Dreaming-I would love to be at Morton bay right now- under the sea, in the sunshine, watching the dolphins, being in the water with them. A friend told me a dolphin saved him from a shark once. He was in the water and a dolphin was pushing him out. He didn't know what the dolphin was doing and he then saw a shark in the water. If that's a true story that is amazing...animals sense- to be on that island with creatures I would luuurrvveee....but back to reality- traffic, pollution, too many ppl and noise...with startled, unsettled wildlife....

...still a grey day

My mum and grandmother go to the club a lot. Cash draws, pokies, meat tray draws, bingo- I sometimes go with.

While you were watching your romantic Paris movie I was watching a crime show and then a show about ppl behind bars...I felt really lucky. Lucky because I got away, from stuff happening to me and lucky that I live in freedom. Some of those ppl were in there for life. Made me appreciate my life.

Better go do something...wouldn't mind some of those poached eggs uve got going on...because mums taken out liver. Liver!!! Have u tried? She cooks them well though. Sautéed in onion and olive oil...but...liver? We're a funky bunch over here....imagine kissing some1 after they've eaten liver. I knew a guy that microwaved this big heart once, stunk out the place. He was poor and organs r cheap, and blood came out of it. I watched him eat it....I just had some vegie juice- the ppl u meet in qld ey...hahahahaha...hope I'm believed bcas my stories r true.

Picturing u working away...I'm looking at u through my minds eye haha so if u feel someone staring....doin a good job there 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , Just got in ...

Had a good day ...had a helper ...watching everything i was doing almost staring ...i worked real well ..i felt loved

Glad you enjoyed your coffee ...yes do a few exercises am having a rest from the push ups ...my shoulder need to get better ...im onto it and it will be like new in a few weeks ...

The songs were good ..they were songs on the radio while we were together ...painful monkey but i handled it ...a few tears ...but i have done more crying in the last 12 months than all the new born babies in all the hospitals in the world ...thats a fair bit ...so I'm not sure what happened over the weekend ...i feel better now ...your words ..solid ...The club is a bit of fun for your mum and grandma ...and you go along ...all the girls ....Nice ...I bet you look real nice when you dress up ... its funny writing to each other ...i have no idea what you look like ...

[awrinkle_in_time]

but your heart would blend into what you look like and that would be beautiful ...stunning ...Listen to me ...did you just throw up ... ha ha ... it just came out of me ... all i can go on is what you write ...your words ...
Boy the prison show sounds crazy ...i just couldn't imagine ...yes so lucky to have freedom ....would you put a mask and snorkel on and look around some rock pools ..?? Would you dive with tanks on ...i think i might have told you about a ship that has been sunk in the ocean , you can dive on it ...i have done it a few times ...one tank give you around a 30 min dive ...its pretty cool and the dive company i go with are so professional ...ive always wanted to hold someones hand while on the bottom of the ocean floor ...while fighting off 7 sharks ...i saw a octopus on the deck of the ship once ...he blended is so well with all the sea life on the deck ...he was hard to see ...he had big open eyes ....i got real close to him ...he didnt move ...just looked at me ....was really cool ...you do 2 30 min dives in one day ....they give you coffee and bakers delight cakes ...scrolls you know ...filling stuff ...carbs ...an a carm day its so beautiful ...just you and the ocean ...nature ...on the way back in the boat after the 2 dives I'm like in a trance ...so still in the mind ...its almost addictive ...when you go under the water the mind becomes so focused on what it seeing ever other thought is gone ....its amazing ...have i talked you into going one day ...
Im with you on the Liver ....but you mum is trying to keep your iron levels up ...shes loving you ...But Liver !!

[awrinkle_in_time]

no kissin ha ha ...i did get a laugh from the liver story ..your funny ...Ive never know of a heart in the microwave ...the the guy have a dog ...he would have been licking his chops ...
some new people just moved into my complex and they said hello when i came home tonight ...i walked over andhad some chit chat ...they introduced themselves ...and when i got inside i thought i didnt tell them my name ...felt like an idiot ...i did have things on my mind ...anyway will make it right next time i see them they seem nice an older couple ...moved into the warmer weather ....I do remember the roses you told me with all the colours ...you liked them ...and the crazy lady cut them down ...will the grow back ?? Im sorry you are losing that beauty in your building ...can you get the body corp to plant some more ...i need to get some nice in door plants ...i had one just die off i have had it a long time ...some of the plastic ones look good ..expensive though ....Hope your day was good ...i felt at peace with everything ... i think that has come from you ...So thank you ...Do you like Thai food ...a stir fry with some sparkling water a walk along the beach and an ice cream to share ...the caramel with hazelnuts is nice ...dreaming .....Better have a shower going out for dinner with my friend tonight(the 5 Girl friend one ) ...get a night off cooking ...i wont be late its so cold ...wear my ski hat ... and ski jacket ...ha ha ...his stories are starting to bore me ha ha ...
but ill try to seem interested ...What are you having for tea ...any house reno shows on tonight ...
thanks for watching over me today ...with your minds eye .. i will send you some energy from the ocean tomorrow ...Later Bestie ...
Have you ever felt like a teenager as an adult ..

[monkey_magic]

Hey, surprise, there's a post I think u missed- scroll back....

I really like listening to you. Ur great. U make me laugh. Ur a funny bugger...it's so good.

Compliment away, I won't throw up, I'll smile...

Would for sure dive with a tank on- don't know if I could fight off seven sharks- I guess we could together. I think they're essentially peaceful creatures, might turn on you though haha, cause you wanna fight them...U cracked me up with the octopus staring at you- I think octopusspuss liked you- must have been your sparkling trance like eyes. I'm guessing green or blue. You made a new friend. Yeah alright I'll b your bestie- u lucky bugger...

I'm sure it's all good with the new neighbours. Are you going to introduce yourself as a wrinkle in time?

Roses just have to grow back, it's taking ages.

I'm prob going to be at the ocean tomorrow- u want me to send u some energy from the rainforest and bush? That's where I was today- did that hike. Saw more bush turkeys. I'm sitting in my car ATM...was going to do a beach night walk... Might wait for early morning...and I split my pants, and cracked my phone. Felt like a teenager as an adult? At times. When I do things I did as a teenager I think back and feel like I'm in the same spot. But know u know heaps more than what u did then.

....the song has come on the radio..the one I originally wanted to give u, but didn't know the name or singer...but u said ur at peace, can't ask for more than that...

Scuba diving/ snorkeling...well...being in the sea is addictive. I used to have to be in it or near it when I was in qld- I lived close to it for nearly a year. Your essence changes...that's why its pitiful to be in a city now. I can't wait to get out. When I have a deposit I'm out of here....

Look forward to hearing from u again cool one 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi Bestie ...I know I'm privileged 🙂

That song ...tell me ,i want drift off ...into bliss .... yes i feel the same, so so good ... you know writing to you and reading your messages ....i feel like I'm almost turning inside out ...

im flipping out man I'm flipping ....

yes i going to put my hand out and say wrinkle .....wrinkle .....wrinkle in time ....pleased to meet ya ...

Blue ...and in the ocean my eyes go light blue ..

so your in your car ...are you going to sleep in your car ...Babe i will worry ... do the walk in the morning ..safer ...

yes talk to me tomorrow ...send the beach energy ....the sound of the waves ...the smell of the ocean ...the warmth of the sun ...the peace within knowing all is just as it should be ...the tension leaving your body when you touch the water with you toes ..looking up into the sky and saying out loud there is no one else like me ...nothing comes close to what i am ......i am unique i am one of ....

So you split your pants ...and cracked the phone ...did you have a fall ...Okay will look back on posts when i finish this message ...Hope you don't get cold in the car ...have you got your ski jacket ...

the scuba dive will be good ...is autumn the next season ? ....might be nice then .....

I had a nice dinner ....had Salmon and Veg ...2 beers ...was real nice ....lots of people came along ...had my social night for the week ...was not to cold ...I got you the salmon also and a cider ....

Will go back now and have a read ...

Cant wait to get out ..

later xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

Your not crazy beautiful lady ....your far from it ....

losing a love like that would have been like a night -mare ...

You really opened up ....I feel honoured that you told me what you feel ..and what has happened to you

there are people who can feel peoples energy ...I am someone who feels in that way ....some people say its being over sensitive ...I had to leave my wife because.... she lost a child in another marriage ...then she lost her mother ...she grieved for 20 years ...she drank every day to stop the pain ....but doing that connected her to the evil ...not the good ...I felt all her pain every day .....this is not about me ....its about felling connected to other energy out there ...the marriage reached a point where it had to stop ...a switch went off in me and i had no doubts that the time had come for us to part ....it has been the best thing to happen....the good is now coming in for all of us ....

am i on topic ....not sure ...

You know ive grown to have so much respect for you ...

and there are times in which i wish i could just hold you close ....

might make some toast ... Enjoy your music ....Im a bit speechless ... I'm just feeling ... Im not tired and I'm not going to bed yet ...

xxx

[awrinkle_in_time]

I better go to bed things are going slow ...

enjoy your walk tomorrow on the beach ...

not doin the mouthwash as much ...gums and lips are good ...ha ha ...

Good Night xoxo

[awrinkle_in_time]

Good Morning , a couple of posts are on their way to you ...wrote them last night ...

your enjoying the beach .....

coffee is made , got you a cappuccino this morning ...

Have a great day

xxx

[monkey_magic]

Morning from tha beach,

Now that was freezing. Stayed in my car overnight listening to the waves. There were walkers/ joggers in the freezing at 4:30am. I'm sitting at a cafe overlooking the beach and we r in jackets, gloves, hoodies, still cold and a guy in budgie smugglers is having a cold shower. Lots of surfers in the ocean too. Going to drench in the sun today, take in the ocean, walk the beach, may or may not swim...

Having a mocha and yoghurt, musli and berries from the cafe...