how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

HI Mark

So good to chat to you and I have been meaning to send you a message today and here we are at 4.31pm and I am only doing it now.

It is a really crappy day here in Melbourne today, it has been raining and soo windy, almost like winter. To hear that you are having a muggy day is strange..ohh I love thunder and lightening, it is awesome, do you like a storm?

That is awesome that you got out and did some groceries today when as you said you just feel like staying home, and also that you were able to give the girl at the register some support, that is great. It is a busy place out their in the world and it can be so overwhelming.

Your bike is awesome and that is a shame you can't get out and about on it but maybe soon. Is that a big job to fix the charging system?

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah,A very overcast day hereat the moment.

I have a kids free day at the moment.I think just stay in bed,feeling pretty down these days.

I can fix the charging system or replace it with a newer system that cost a bit.

I managed to take my son to speech yesterday.He has it every friday and we take it in turns to take him.

I guess your son has baseball today.If he haa enjoy it.

Take care,

Mark

[Matchy69]

The daily struggles i have are real.I have trouble doing anything,i just want to stay in bed and cry.I completely messed up everything that was good in my life.I hope one day to wake up and not be crying and want to get out of bed.

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Mark

I am sorry I have been quiet this weekend, I was out volunteering!

Your Donald Duck cake looks awesome, well done, that is so very clever.

I was at baseball yesterday too, they played a great game but didn't win. There were some girls in the other team too and they were so strong, it was great to see them giving the boys some competition.

I am so sorry you are feeling so very low and so sad and yes, I would love that for you too to wake up and not want to cry and just stay in bed all day. I really have no idea how you are feeling and it just breaks my heart to hear you this sad. Yes your struggles are real and if only there were a dream and you could just wake up and feel happy, but I hear you and so very much wish I was able to help.

That is great though that you got to take your son to his appointment, that is so great for you to see how he is progressing as well as let your son know that you are there to support him.

Chat soon

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah,i took my son to the physio this morning for an assessment.I had 100 qustions to answer and am not sure if i answered some of them right.I will be in trouble with my ex if she thinks some of the answers are wrong.

My daughter did horse riding.Physio on a horse.She enjoyed that.She does that every fortnight.Its a pupil free day here and i will take the kids to school tomorrow.

I still feel so sad and miserable and no motivation to do anything.I am just glad to be home from my morning out.The days just seem so long for me.

Your friend

Mark

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning Mark

I am so sorry to read that you have had a tough morning with the kids and that you are struggling at the moment. You are doing such a wonderful job being present in your children's lives and doing the very best you can when you don't feel well yourself, that is such a huge credit to you.

The picture of the flowers is stunning, that is such a lovely colour too....

That is really rough that you feel like your ex will be upset and angry with you if you get the information wrong or make a mistake. Maybe if you could take a little note book or the likes with you to appointments and jot a few things down this might take the pressure of having to remember everything. Just a thought.

One of my friends actually works at one of the Equine Therapy places here in Melbourne and she absolutely raves about how much the people, including her, actually get from caring and feeding and spending time with the horses, it really is so wonderful.

Hope you are ok Mark and I am thinking of you.

Bigs hugs to you

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah,thank you for your kind words and support but i am really struggling at the moment.

I feel really guilty as my ex has to go through what i went through with the kids most school days and she is no well herself.It was such a struggle this morning and its like that everyday with the kids.

I miss having my friend to talk to and have a cry to about my struggles Just makes me feel so alone now that she is not in my life.She was so amazing.

My son has the dentist tomorrow and my daughter the specialist.I hope the specialist comes up with some better ideas for my daughter as its not working at the moment.

The physio rung and said my son has deteriated and going do sessions with him monday.The physio had told me my son had improved but rings my ex with a different story.When i took my son to see her i thought it was just a physical examation because that is what it was last time i took him but she did that and i had to full at a huge qustineer on him which i didnt expect

I hope you are having a nice day.

Your friend

Mark

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I hope this morning is going better for you and that you are feeling ok.

What a great pic of your bike and the camp area, I love camping, it is such a great form of therapy and getting some fresh air and some beautiful scenery.

Feeling of guilt is so much to manage and I hear you when you feel for your ex going through parenting and looking after your kids, especially when they do have special needs, every credit to you both as I have no idea how hard it must be and how exhausting this is for both of you. I hope your ex has someone she can talk to and support her through these parenting days and give her some comfort too. Perhaps you can even suggest some things for her to reach out to as well, like BeyondBlue or even a visit to the doctor to check in and have a chat to see she is doing ok.

I am so very sorry to hear that the physio has called with some disappointing news around your son's physical health has deteriorated, that is not great news to get and especially seeing that you were expecting some positives news and then conflicting news to your ex, that is very confusing and also not helpful on top of not expecting the questionaire and thinking you were just going for a physical check up, that is alot to manage Mark.

I am sure that your amazing friend would have been so very supportive to you through this time and I am so very sorry you are not able to chat with her and share this pain and have some comfort from here which I hear is what you are so very much craving at the moment.

Big hugs to you Mark and thinking of you

Sarah

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah,just another restless night for me from my anxiety and realization that not everthing can be fixed.

That photo was taken at Tooloom Falls a few years ago when i went camping there.I was very hot and then it poured down rain on the way home.I miss being able to do those things.

My daughter saw the specialist and got her medication changed so hope she can get back at school next year.

Your friend

Mark

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

How are you going today?

Great news about your daughter and that there are some things that you can do to make a difference to her life, which in turn will make it easier for you too, which is great.

Tooloom Falls looks absolutely stunning and would certainly make a wonderful camping destination, I really love camping it is so nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, take in some fresh air and get into nature...I could so use some of that now.

Do you have anything planned for the weekend?

Your friend

Sarah