Challenging unhelpful thoughts

Doolhof · ‎18-02-2017

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

Doolhof · ‎21-03-2017

Hi Sara,

Thanks. I will check it out.

Sometimes I go tot he shops and buy myself some flowers. I remember when I first starting doing that my husband wanted to know who had given me the flowers. He thought it was a bit weird that I bought my own.

When we have flowers in the garden I like to bring some inside. There isn't much in flower at present in our garden.

I will check out Bouquet for Pearls thread. Thanks.

Cheers from Mrs. D

Doolhof · ‎21-03-2017

Hi All,

I am going to see if I can change the title of this thread to Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts.

That will be a lot more positive.

Cheers all from Dools

Guest_1055 · ‎21-03-2017

Hi Mrs D,

oh Thankyou I needed to be reminded of Gods words today. Truly have tears in my eyes now.

You sound like such an industrious person Mrs D ,a quality that I hope to be in full bloom within myself one day.

I will congratulate you too for waking today. Here is a pat on the back or a hive 5!

love

Shell xx

Doolhof · ‎23-03-2017

Hi Shell,

How are you getting on? I've had a busy day in the Op Shop where I volunteer once a week. Later I hope to go for another walk with my neighbours and their dogs. They have one dog they are looking after at present, he is adorable.

This morning I was reading Lamentations 3 verses 21 to 33. You can look the verses up on the computer if you don't have a Bible handy.

A girlfriend of mine who is a fellow Christian is really struggling with her depression. She is not game to tell anyone at her Church in case they judge her or tell her to pray harder. It is really sad when people don't understand depression and mental health issues.

Tomorrow I will be doing some baking as my Dad is coming to stay and he has a very sweet tooth!

Cheers for now from Mrs. D

aegidius · ‎27-03-2017

Doolhof said:A girlfriend of mine who is a fellow Christian is really struggling with her depression. She is not game to tell anyone at her Church in case they judge her or tell her to pray harder.

When you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail 🙂

Doolhof · ‎28-03-2017

Hi aegidius,

Sometimes my hammer recognises my finger as a nail and misses the nail altogether. Guess that has something to do with the operator of the hammer...me!

A bit like life really, we aim for one thing but sometimes end up hitting a different mark. I need to persevere so I can hammer those nails in straight. If some tend to go crooked, I have the option of pulling them out again, lining them up again and then driving them into the wood.

Or I could just keep banging at them and eventually pound them into the wood one way or another then try again with a fresh nail.

Life. I need to keep getting up, dusting myself off and try again.

Cheers from Dools

Doolhof · ‎03-04-2017

Feeling like my medication is slowly shutting me down! Having to push all day long to get anything done. Bother!

Many things are quite an effort. Even getting out into the garden, let alone achieving anything is difficult right now.

Bother. Bother. Bother.!

james1 · ‎03-04-2017

Hey Mrs Dools,

Sounds like you're struggling a bit to find motivationm with the medication messing around a bit.

Have you recently made any adjustments to your medication? It's a real bummer when changing medication/dosages can interfere with our lives, so it's good to put in a few days rest for the adjustment period.

Still, it's good that you've come here to let us know how you're going. That's an achievement too, remember? There are going to be days when even getting out of bed or making an effort to communicate to people is a big achievement in themselves.

James

Guest_1055 · ‎03-04-2017

Your voice has been heard by me also Mrs D, and I am listening.

I too feel like I am "dragging my feet" today . It took me ages to actually do my hair properly. I was just sitting with it in a wet messy ponytail after I managed to wash it some time ago.

Anyway it has been a bit since you wrote your last post....How are you getting along now?

And Mrs D you have to be one of the most industrious people out there achieving many many things on other days.

The post you wrote to me before you were talking about what you read in Lamentations. I did look it up, but can only remember a bit where it says " My mercies are new every morning " . I shall look it up again.

You asked me how I was... I am alright Mrs D. Today I have been learning further about "taking every thought captive". I know this is biblical. My mind is going blank .... I do care about you Mrs D.

Shellxx

Doolhof · ‎03-04-2017

Hi James,

Congratulations for accepting the role as a Champion on this forum. I do feel that is a bit of a weird title, all the same congratulations to you!

I have been on this medication since end of January. It seems that different pills take a while to work their magic or what ever it is they decide to do. Hopefully this might be a phase of the medication and it too will pass...

Once again I decided I did not want to ruin my day so I tried really hard to fight the awful depression that felt like it wanted to suffocate me.

I wandered the garden for a while, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine and appreciated the plants that are growing and listened to the birds. I managed a little bit of gardening and some watering. My shanti now has a curtain rail to hang up curtains when the wind comes from the south.

My clothes had a bit of a sort through as well, I now have some material to create some rag rugs one day.

Thanks James, yes, I will count up all my blessings and achievements tonight as I get ready for sleep.

Cheers to you, from Mrs. Dools