Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Grandy

I think it's wonderful you're considering going back. Company and something to look forward to really make a positive difference to our MH. Reluctance is reasonable, given what's happened, but you can always leave again if you're not comfortable with how things pan out. Good on you for being so brave as to go to the meeting in the first place! That's quite something 🙂

I also feel sad about things being thrown out and wasted that someone could make use of. I once saw a volunteer at the local Salvos throwing piles and piles of books into a skip bin. A fellow customer and I exchanged horrified glances! They could have piled them on a table and given them away for free if no-one was buying them.

Lovely and sunny with blue skies here in WA, and I can hear a bird merrily chirping - I'm thinking it's a willy wagtail. Hope it's nice where you are today.

Hugs, Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi again Grandy,

Gosh hot weather lately, little Sam is feeling it. I keep thinking that every week is bringing us closer to Autumn thank goodness! Sounds like you're keeping your furs cool and happy!

Just a thought Grandy - I know you don't like that man at the shop, but would he have asked you to come back if the other staff hadn't thought highly of you? Obviously they think you are someone they want back - if they didn't they would recruit someone else, even if it took time. I think you should see it as a compliment. Good on you!

I get the feeling you have really grown and changed over the past six months or so... you stood up for yourself at the store, stood up for what you felt was right, you went back after leaving and tried it again, and now you've gone to the meeting with that man... I think that's terrific! You should feel really proud of yourself!

Now have a think what you want to do - don't let waiting for the man to apologize make you lonely for another year. Decide what YOU want for you. Whatever you decide, we'll be here for you.

hugs.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

How are you lass? Are you managing to spend time outside drinking up all the loveliness that nature provides us?

"I am doing this for me..not him..not the shop..but me..." Oh lass I got all teary when I read this... the Grandy I first met on here didn't ever think she was worth putting herself 1st.... I so love that you're willing to try...

Biggest bear hug lass

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hi Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna, Paws, Katy and everyone...🤗..

Thank you all for your lovely kind thoughts..They mean a lot to me...

i want to say how sorry I am for taking a while o post a reply to you all.....

I am still confused/uncertain about what I’m going to do on Tuesday about work....

My decision making isn’t good...

Just wanted to pop in and thank you all for your support and kindness..I suppose I will know on Tuesday what I’m going to do....

Deebi....”serious helpers” is a good one...Much love and care in my thoughts daily bbff..💚🐻🤗🦋..I hope your okay..

I hope you all are okay..and sending my love, care and hugs to all you beautiful caring people....💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🌜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌛

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I guess if you went in on Tuesday and didn't like it you don't have to return.

I think you need to make this about yourself - what do you think you want to look forward to in the year ahead? How will you feel if you have the shop each week to go to? How will you feel if you decide NOT to go in this Tuesday to try it? How will you feel then? Which is best for you? Don't worry about anyone else in the picture, this is entirely about what you want for you.

Sending big hugs.

[demonblaster]

Hi there lovely bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all other good people 👋

Dear Grandy hi darlin 🤗 hope you're doing ok honey. As you can see there are many people that care very much about you because you give out so much love carevand warmth. It's great seeing it coming back to such a deserving sweetyheart of a lady ☺

No probs hun about when you reply you've had/having a lot to think about and deal with lately on top of pain and deep emotions playing havoc. Just when you're up to sweets.

Cool thanks for that I like it. I have to persevere with a level but I'll get there one day. One day I want to teach Mr bbff Playstation and Xbox. Such fun aren't they.

Always thinking about you Grandy love you wouldn't believe how secure and loved I feel with a bbff like you tucked away permanently in my heart.

Really hoping today was good for you dear lady. You deserve peace dear friend.

Please send our love to the gorgeous furs and of course to you too.

Hope everyone's managing ok. We'll get there. Survivals a very strong help we have that we're born with.

Sending calm peaceful vibes to all reading in the feeling of a soft breeze that gently touches our souls

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤗😍👀🗯🤝🐶🐩🦊🐺

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Lass you've been in my thoughts all day...

I hope you were gentle with yourself today whether you decided to go to the shop or stay home...

I'm sending you the softest hug

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Paws and everyone...

Thank you so much for your caring posts...

I went to my volunteer job yesterday feeling so much anxiety...The co-ordinator said how pleased she was that I came back..Betty was also pleased...The boss was their he said good morning, I replied then walked out back..Betty came with me...The boss followed and told me what needed sorting first...which was a huge trolly load of donations...Gee I felt awkward when he was around..finally he left for the day and I settled back into my routine..other girl who works out back with me didn’t come in,,,Which made me feel more relaxed...because I didn’t have to pretend to be okay and didn’t need to talk to her..

I done my work..finished the trolly of clothes..It was nice being out of my house and chatting to Betty and the co-ordinator...

Surprise before we left for the day, we were all in the shop together when he said I done very well to finish off the trolly and thanked me..

Next week is a public holiday so not working then..

Tomorrow is Victims Services Counselling..been a while since last appointment...

All up I’m doing okay..I got out yesterday..and talked to people who answer..instead of furs that look at me strangely when I have a conversation with them😁..

Hoping Everyone is okay and enjoying today the best they can...

Deebi...bbff much love, care and respect dear friend..💚🌹🦋🐻🤗..

Love and hugs Paws and everyone..

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I'm so glad that you went back! I'm happy for you. You'll have nice company again! Wonderful! That's great news. hugs!

[demonblaster]

Dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone 👋

Good for you Grandylove you not only made a hard decision, over rode anxiety you also returned to somewhere that caused you distress and pain.
You truly have a great deal of courage but I've always known that pretty much from day dot meeting you.

How lovely co-ordinator being pleased and how big of HIM saying that. Yes sarcasm but I will say it twas a good compliment and I have no doubt very deserved.
Still not at all happy with him Jan! At all!

How lovely Betty being pleased. She would've missed you heaps I'd think. Love your friendship with her. You've both been fantastic to eachother which is real.
Sounds thank goods she's stronger from ill health recently. Good job Betty.

Being a public holiday might work out not too bad because of having your VC which depending on content being spoken of I imagine would take a fair while to digest and adjust to surfacing such deep pain you poor love.

Hope today wasn't ott hard.
I keep thinking how good it is you hitting Gold with her. It's been an incredibly hard time getting the help you need lovely but it's finally come and with the ww mob too.

It is nice having talking company 😄.
We're a social pack and need eachother.

Oh while I remember a few days ago we were talking about birdies and their names.Thrush is the one I was talking about.

I'm really pleased for you Grandy. You've done well by yourself and that's what's important hun and you sound happy with how it went. Awesome!

So much love Grandy. I wish one day some way too. I'd given up then thought if I do I'll never have a chance but it still makes me deeply 😢. Dunno but we have Hope and need that.

Deep love beautiful respect care and everlasting 🤝

Always 🗯👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊