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Multiple Loss

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi all, I'm new here and thought I would share some of my story with you, in case it helps anyone else.

I am a 73 year old woman whose partner of 36 years died in July 2005.

In May 2009 my eldest daughter died in a motorcycle accident. She was 48.

In February 2011 my other daughter died from a blood clot, she was also 48 at the time.

Somewhere in there I also lost my burmese cat of 18 years, I adored him.

I never felt like I was suffering from depression, and am still not sure if I am now, but because I am having health issues and have lost friends to cancer and the like I feel like the pain is never ending.

Losses are only to be expected at my age I guess but life does seem very unfair at times.

Thanks for listening.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Dear Skeeter, I suppose loss is hard when ever it happens, at what ever age you are.

Especially the loss of a child (even an adult one). For some reason it doesn't seem to the be "order of things" . Sometimes when a person experiences a lot of stress in their life for whatever reason (in your case so many losses one after the other) things can move beyond grief and into something else like a depression illness.  This may or may not be the case for you. It is worth going to see your GP and letting him/her know how you are going. They can do an assessment with you to see if things have moved beyond the realms of grief. Even if that is not the case it could be useful to let your GP know as getting support to manage the complex grief situation you are in could really help you see the end to the distressing feelings. It is true, life can feel unfair sometimes. Let us know how you are going.

Alll the best, the moderators

Community Member

Dear Skeeter,

I can see your concern and feel for your losses.  Yes, being over 70 makes you a candidate for more loss than usual.  But it probably also makes you a candidate for treasuring the remaining ones that are close to you.  It was lovely you mentioned your cat as well as it makes him part of the family.  Very nice touch.

Sometimes I have a hard time from my in laws (88 and 93) and I joke that their funerals will bring me relief !  But I know they have their own problems and they have been an immense value to all the family.   Bit weird how we seem to only value people when they are gone.  Probably doesn't apply to politicians..........

Adios, David.

PS  Every loss becomes an echo of other losses.  It becomes exponential.