The monotony of life

[Bw1990]

Hi all,

I’ve found myself really struggling with the motivation to keep going because it just feels like there isn’t an end point. There is nothing particularly wrong in my life but I also can’t think of anything that would make it better.

The monotony of waking up, getting ready for work, going to work and spending 8 hrs a day working, spending that money of things to live such as food and housing, you save money for a house deposit so you can get into even more debt to buy a house and keep working. You can save for months to go on an exciting holiday but as soon as I’m on the holiday (before Covid) I realise that it’ll be over soon and it’ll be straight back into the day to day monotony. Just doesn’t feel like it’s something I have the energy to do forever. I’m only 30 and the prospect of having to do this for another 35+ years is too much to think of.

as I said, there is nothing wrong in my life but nothing that makes me particularly thrilled either. My job is ok, my family are fine, friends are good etc. I just can’t see why I’m doing this everyday.

it starts from school, we are told to study hard at high school, so we can get into uni and get into debt and study even harder, then we get jobs that we slave away at simply to earn money to live longer, get a mortgage so we can work even harder. I just don’t get the point. To earn more money at work you need to rise through the ranks taking on more stress and responsibility.

Would love to hear others experiences feeling like this and what is the trick to getting out of feeling like this.

cheers

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Bw1990,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for deciding to join us.

Your post actually reminded me of an old tale that I read, one of my favourites about a Mexican fisherman. He catches a few fish, makes enough to feed the family, and goes home, a very simple life. The businessman suggests he gets bigger boats, makes more money and work really hard, and after years and years, he can retire, go home and have a simple life.

I really liked it because it's totally the way we work now- the work hard mentality and the white picket fence. Success and happiness is seen by the amount of money you make and the amount of responsibility on your plate. I'm wondering if that's what's happening to you too; that it's just this kind of mentality about how you think you should be living. That might be key to getting through it too- about how much of this you need to work through (i.e. you have to pay bills), and how much is a "should" (going up the rank in a job).

I hope I'm on the right track here and not rambling too much! Interested to hear your thoughts and I'm glad you shared this with us.

rt

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Bw1990,

A very warm and caring to forums..

As I read your post a few things resonated with me...one that stands out is the monotony of every day life...

I am near retirement age now and not working, when I did work I think I asked myself those same questions that your asking...Getting up early, going to work, coming home, cooking dinner for my family, making lunches for the next day, clean up, go to bed....and repeat that process over and over each day.....

It wasn’t until after I finished working..and got mentally sick that I learnt we are so much involved in our everyday working life that we forget...that their is more to life then constantly working, pushing ourselves to the limit that we end up getting burn out....

My days have changed in the way I don’t work anymore, but not in the way of being so monotonous each day...,Now I take time for myself each day to sit outside and try to connect with the most important part of this universe and our lives...and that is nature. When I do sit outside the four walls are gone, and replaced by trees, clouds, birds singing happily....they help to relax our soul and helps take away any thought of what I have to do tomorrow from my thoughts for a while...Nature is unpredictable and completely different each day....It gives our thoughts a little rest...

I only wish that I knew about this tiny piece of self care while I was working....maybe I would have felt a little bit of freedom from working day in and day out...maybe not..idk..but for now it is helping a bit...

Self care, and taking time out to breathe and relax is so important in all our lives...We could work ourselves that hard..that even if we get that Aussie dream of owning our own house....We could end up loosing our health along the way....

I guess what I’m trying to say to you dear Bw1990...is to please take time each day for you..care for yourself..look after yourself...and please remember that you are doing your best and that is all anyone can do....

My kindest thoughts dear Bw1990...with my care..

Grandy..

[white knight]

Hi BW, welcome

I'd like to focus on what I see as the core of your problem, at least what I perceive it to be.

People either have a passion or they dont. A passion can be a hobby or sport or special interest but it is one that they allow to occupy nearly every spare moment of their thinking. A passion can be close to or at obsession level.

A hobby or sport can be a passion or it could be at a lower level of commitment, like golf. Some of us have several interests like myself- beyondblue forum, slot cars (recently took it up), gardening, vintage cars. My need is variety.

Unfortunately for some they dont have a passion nor lower level interest. I've been in a long term relationship with a lady that was in that situation and at the time my obsessive passion was model airplanes. She could not understand my commitment levels. Try as I might to elevate her minor interests like mosaics, sewing etc she lost interest very quickly. I realised then that a passion comes naturally and from within.

Some people survive quite well without a passion especially parents as they make their life revolve around their children which as we know takes up so much time and energy there is little time for anything else. Once the children fly the coup however the parents are in the same limbo place you seem to be unless those times are planned.

Having said all that I suggest you try many things in order to find some interest in something you might see some future with. Volunteer work, go through a list of traditional hobbies, career, and so on.

That just one sector of life for fulfilment. Another includes spiritual satisfaction (religion and non religion).

I hope that helps.

TonyWK