Hey your story realky spoke to me because I'm currently going through the EXACT same thing. The constant stress about money is excruciating- it causes me almost constant panic attacks/ anxiety. And it's humiliating- not being able to afford the basics of food is painful.
please try to ring around/ research I the internet the area where you live as many charities offer assistance with food- whether they offer cooked meals or can provide you with food. Also try to think outside the box with money- like you might be able to get some work delivering pamphlets or doing basic type stuff. Indeed and Guntree are both good websites for that kind of thing. It won't be much but I find even $50 can be the difference between eating and not. Also shop at Aldi or discount stores and see if you can cut down your phone bill, or pay bills in instalments. Eg instead of paying $80 a month for my phone, I pay $40 a fortnight/ it's easier to budget. Even little things like switching your bank accounts to a bank that doesn't charge fees if you overdrew your avoiding- my old bank charged $29 per day it was overdrawn!!
i know that all sounds awful- all you want to do is get a job. And everywhere you go people turn you down for lack of experience of lack or referrees or just because they had 400 other applicants. Again, think iutsude the box. Print out your resume (get your job service people to make it look nice), dress up in nice professional clothes and personally hand in your resume to every job you can think of. No it won't be as good as your old job but it's something- it's money, it's a reference and experience so then you can look for a better job. It's all only temporary- keep thinking "this is only for now- this is a step towards what I really want"
and nc obviously you need to seek medical help for how you feel. See your dictor- they can write you out a referral to see a psychologist uo to 10 times a year. It'll be bulk billed if you have a health care/ low income card. Your therapist can help you learn to cope with how you feel and make steps/ plans for how you will get from where you are now to where you want to go.
Hang on to your dreams. Put pictures and reminders of your dreams everywhere. Hang on to any moment in the day that's enjoyable. Don't beat yourself up for "not doing better"- hang onto the achievements you make.
you can recover from this, I pfomise. I have before, and I will again now. And you will too
