Sooo

[JustTiffanyxo]

I'd just thought I'd tell everyone a bit about myself, I;m Tiffany and have had severe chronic depression for the last 12 years. 10 of those years medicated.  But, I am also a Registered Nurse, I know the 'effective' measures to deal with depression almost like second nature. None of these were working for me and I'd start feeling like a failure for not being able to do simple things. A small portion of my brain told me what I needed to do to get better, but the much bigger, much depressed part of the brain said 'why bother' and has won numerous times.

So Instead, I decided to write a blog entry and document every day of my life for 100 days. To see if there's a pattern, specific stressors that remain constant, I dunno. But I thought I'd give it a go (I think I'm up to day 7) haha. Id thought I'd share here too incase someone out there is feeling just like me. BROKEN.

[NicoleP]

Hi Tiffanyxo

Can I call you that? You don't seem like a Justtiffany to me - you seem like a very unique and caring individual.

I just read your other post about your meltdown at work. Believe me, you are not the only one to have done that. I remember sitting on the floor of my classroom in tears, sobbing about the most minor thing. It happens to more people than you think. I can honestly say that the people at work were concerned about me, as I am sure that the people at work were for you.

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling broken. I wish I could make things better for you. I am always happy to be an ear though as you work through things that are bothering you.

Keep posting. The more you post, the more people get to know you and nice chat start up about common thoughts and experiences.

Once again, thanks for posting Tiffany

I think that you suffer from depression lends a special quality to you as a nurse. I am a teacher and I just understand those troubled kids.

[white knight]

Hi JT,  a warm welcome here to Beyond Blue forum

Glad you came along here. A good idea to write a blog. I wasnt aware for many years that I had a depressive cycle of 10 down days every 8 weeks. 8 weeks was long enough for me to forget how long it was since my last session. Its also handy for psych visits. Facts are a good reference.

For some getting rid of toxic people in your life is a game changer, a change in work location, living location, wheat ever it takes to reduce stress.

You'll find hundreds of threads here that will interest you.

Take car and glad you are here.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Tiffany, what Tony has said 'get rid of toxic people' is always a good way to start, but can I please explain that all of us go through life experienced and knowledgeable in various areas, whether these are our hobbies, our desires, cooking or our work experiences, we have been taught on how people can become depressed, maybe it's from their past or admissions to hospital and what triggers could start them off again, so we 'know everything like the back of our hand', but when depression is involved it can mean nothing at all, because we are still fallible to fall to depression.

There's absolutely no way to avoid it, even if we have overcome it, unless you have been through it before and then overcome it, but it can still happen.

It's happened with me several times and I consider myself to have overcome it, but it's still a daily effort to stop those continuous feelings or thoughts from making me fall back into it.

It's the same as a heart surgeon, he/she know what we should eat ,drink or keep fit, but what it can't stop is for them to have a heart attack, it can never be unavoidable, just like with you, because you are an highly skilled and qualified nurse still doesn't mean that you will unfortunately get it.

I really would like to follow your blog and documents, because it will be a great learning curve for all of us.

Take care. L Geoff. x