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Sad alone and hopeless

David9
Community Member

I am 58 years old and my marriage ended 8 years ago. I live near my ex wife so I can be close to my kids.

we moved to a rural city in order to be close to her family. Problem is now after the split I have no close friends or family in the area for support which I really need due to suffering depression for many years. As my girls are getting older and on with their own lives I am thinking of going back overseas to my native country but am very scared of the move. I can’t ever see my life being happy again and sometimes think that it’s just not worth while continuing to live. I am on a waiting list to see a psychiatrist as referred by my psychologist but it is taking soo long to get in. My main problem is that I can’t seem to move on with my life and this is making my depression/ anxiety worse day by day,

4 Replies 4

Bob_22
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi David9,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with isolation and and frustration with waiting to see a psychiatrist. Its great though that you've come to these forums as I've read some stories that reflect your issues and hopefully reading through some you might find some sense of community that you're lacking at the moment. You can find others experiences here in the 'depression' tab and even the 'relationships and family issues' tab under 'caring for myself and others'.

Regarding your wait for the psychiatrist appointment I've heard of similar experiences with having to sometimes wait months. I hope you know that during this time you can always contact your GP or psychologist for follow up. If you don't have a regular GP that you see it might be worth asking your psychologist if they have a GP they regularly work with that you could talk to. This would help get them both on the same page and the GP can address any medical issues while your waiting for your psychiatrist appt.

As you mentioned, it can really help having someone to talk to when negative thoughts arise. I would recommend contacting the Beyond Blue counselling team if you can't get a hold of anyone. By engaging via phone or chat the counsellors can provide advice and support, please contact either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat (top right corner of page).

In the meantime, you might find some useful resources on the website about isolation or depression in general. I haven't had a chance to listen but there is a podcast on this site called 'Not Alone'. There is an episode where young woman shares her story of feeling isolated after moving from the Phillipines. You can find it if you google ' Isolation: I have never felt so alone - Beyond Blue'. This will link you to the episode. Hope this helps.

Bob

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello David, can I ask you how close are you to your girls, I know they are growing up and this may change the relationship, but they may want to have you around in the near future and may affect your decision to go o/s.

Going overseas may not necessarily solve your depression, but transfer it from one place to another, because then you may miss your girls even more.

Geoff.

Sophie_M
Moderator
Moderator
Dear David9,
 
We can see that our lovely community has already chimed in with support, but please let us also welcome you back to the forums. We hope you remember you are free to express yourself and your concerns openly and without fear of judgement as this is a safe space.
 
As our children grow older it can be a difficult adjustment to find our place and role again after so long being defined by a “parent” role, but despite your girls getting older your role as a parent will change but not disappear. Although they may not need you as often or for the same reasons your children will always need you, your love and support.
 
Making a move to another country, even one you originated from is a daunting task to say the least and we completely understand the apprehension. Have you been back to the country recently? Do you have family in your native country that you could visit for a period?
 
We hope you can see the value in “continuing to live” despite currently feeling as though you will not be happy again. Although you feel like this at present, we hope that you can recognize the strength and courage you have displayed in seeking help, taking a positive step towards recovery. We hope that the support and advice of our community can assist in changing that feeling of hopelessness.
 
As Bob_22 has fantastically recommended and provided contacts for Beyond Blue, we just wish to provide some alternate contacts for you to also consider as needed.
 
We would also like to suggest Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at https://www.lifeline.org.au/crisis-chat/
 
Alternatively we would also recommend the suicide call back service, they offer a range of contact methods that can be accessed via https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/phone-and-online-counselling/ or by giving them a call on 1300 659 467.
 
If at any point those thoughts of not wanting to live become overwhelming and you believe you may harm yourself, or you no longer feel safe we urge you to contact emergency services on 000.
 
We hope that you find the support and direction that you are seeking on the forums. Once again, we are so glad you have re-joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed back into the community. 
 
Warm regards
Sophie M

David9
Community Member
Hi Geoff, thanks for your reply. My girls are 16 and 19 and I have gotten very close to them over the last 8 years. Problem is I feel like I am living my life trough them and need to get my own identity back. They can understand me wanting to go back OS and finding myself again.