Overcoming apathy

[Mr K]

So, the other day, out with some people for dinner and I'm sitting across the table from someone I know, but don't really know.

So he comes out with what should be a great conversation starter "So, tell me what you like to do, what are you into?" and BAM, I'm immediately utterly and horribly blank. 

I've realized that I have absolutely no idea what I like to do, I will tag along with others' plans but I just utterly lack the motivation to make any plans of my own. Things I used to enjoy seem too hard, or just not fun anymore.

I can't think of things I would like to do, I can't even decide what I would like to watch on TV, and I literally can't watch TV without someone else watching with me otherwise I lose interest and start the whole "What am I going to do" stuff again.

Desperately need some practical and achievable advice to get me out of this before I waste much more life.

K.

[ecomama]

Hey Mr K, nice to see you here asking some great questions! 

3 BRILLIANT things I noticed about your post were; one, you are now AWARE of this in your life. Two, you can create a fun life from here because you are ASKING. THREE you found this out during interactions with others - our best interface for self discovery. Happy days. 

Be kind to yourself about this "incubation" time you've had without this awareness... you can't know what you don't know until you realise you don't know it. 
Then you ask the questions! 

The FUN thing about this new revelation for you is that you have a blank canvas to create so much beauty and happiness in your life. 

I can tell from your post that you like company. You were out for dinner with your people. You watch stuff on TV with another person. 

My best advice is this: Follow the fun impulses you get. These can be the MOST simple things in life... eg yesterday I saw a mother duck with her ducklings pecking around... I stopped my car and watched them for a few moments, just because seeing this sparked JOY in me, so I made it last longer and watched them. 
Just enjoy these "ordinary moments" instead of thinking you have to have extraordinary moments. 

Next is keep seeking. I've listened / watched this Netflix special so many times I almost know every word! 
It's "The Call to Courage" by Brene Brown, it's on Netflix and is AMAZING. This has taught me how to play (at my grand ole age lol!), be creative and above all to be BRAVE with my life. 
If you don't have Netflix, she has TONS of talks on YT, Ted Talks, the lot. 

I think you're in the ZPD to really hear what she teaches. 

You're awesome. You've got this! 
Love EM

[Mr K]

Thank you EM, "Brene Brown", that's a name I've been referred too a few times now.

I'm going to do it.

Warm regards,

K

[ecomama]

Thank you Mr K, OKAY! Lol. 

I call this "jumping into the abyss"! 
Letting go and diving right in or over or UP! 

Funny how things keep repeating themselves until we HEAR it hey? 

You're gonna LOVE Brene and her work. She makes so much freaking sense that it's like "WOW that seems so crazy but simultaneously feels RIGHT". 

When you need a break from Brene, there's Michael Singer podcasts on YT that have truly boosted my sense of wellbeing the past week or so. 
What another amazing teacher he is too. 

Answers are everywhere then we realise the answers were inside of us all along. 

Take care
Love EM

[james1]

Hey K,

What a great question! I think the most practical advice I can give may come across as totally unpractical, so let me back up a little bit first.

Apathy towards life and the various activities we do is something that is really common and I think it is very normal. There are so many things going on in our lives that can cause us to disconnect from the activities we do. It's not a 'problem' with a capital P that cannot be fixed and we need to get out of right now or we're doomed, but a problem that I think we can treat as a temporary training ground.

You've had the great awareness to realise you don't enjoy things you used to, and it's probably not a surprise that we can't just make ourselves enjoy things again. So what are we to do? Well, partly we have to get used to the idea of just doing things because we need to fill in time. That's a very legitimate reason to do something. It may feel kind of empty and pointless, which can be tough. But hopefully what we are changing is now we are choosing what to do, even if it feels pointless, rather than just having things done to us or around us. 

In my own experience with this, the key is really coming to terms with not everything needing a reason or purpose, so long as it was me who chose it. Because then, at least, I'm in control. And if someone asks, what did you do? I can be like, "well, I woke up and it was a sunny day, but I didn't feel like going outside so I stayed and watched TV all day." Chances are, they'll probably say they did the exact same thing a few weeks back because that's just the way we are, and it's totally okay.

Then, perhaps next week you'll be struck by an idea. And because you've gotten used to just doing whatever, you'll follow that idea through and pick up a new hobby. Or at worst, a new story to tell someone the next time they ask you. "I don't know what I'm into, but hey I tried this last week and it was not for me!"

James