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Nothing is helping and I don't know what to do

Community Member

Hi everyone,

I am a 38yo male, and have had depression for well over a decade now.

I am on antidepressants (which have helped) and I am seeing a psychologist.

But, my mental health is only ever declining.

I am at a stage where nothing is helping me get better, my life is pretty miserable, I have zero motivation, I am unable to do the simplest of things and just don't know where to turn to.

Most people would look at my life and say I have a good life, but to me it genuinely feels like a personalized hell, like the universe has somehow managed to perfect living hell for me.

I don't know where to turn to.

4 Replies 4

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello and welcome to the beyond blue forums.

You mentioned in your post that you have had depression for a long time and at the same time people would say you have it good.

I don't know if any of what I am about to say resonates with you but in the last couple of sessions with my psychologist I have found that how I feel is related to what I am doing in relation to core beliefs and values. For me there is a divergence.

Does any of this resonate with you?

Even if I am wrong... I also know that depression doesn't care about what you do or how good it might look to others. It doesn't care whether you are rich or poor. Race and gender do not matter either.

And I know it is important to have a support network outside of sessions.

If you want to chat about any of this I am here and listening.

Community Member

Hi Nikto,

Just wanted to chime in and tell you I care. This is really tough and I don't have any suggestions that I think would help, as I can't speak from the exact experience - I am your age but instead have suffered severe anxiety since my early 20s.

Are there any activities that you like doing with others - eg sport, going for walks, classes of some kind? Or perhaps something creative like painting, woodwork, DIY improvements? Maybe you have a dog that you take to the local off-leash park and mingle with other dog owners? Or maybe you enjoy playing conputer games with others?

I don't know if any of this helps, but I find that getting put and doing things in others' conpany sometimes gives me some time away from my thoughts, if I am in a trough. It's ups and downs, but it can totally be mostly ups. I never really feel like doing it at the time but I often am glad afterwards that I did.

Hoping tomorrow goes well - happy to hear how it goes, if you'd like to share.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Nikto, sometimes it's possible that you have everyone, including your psychologist trying to push you into believing that you should be OK now, but it's this, that could be the stalemate that's stalling you from getting your life back together, you don't necessarily want a group of telling you how you should be feeling, it's something you have to experience by yourself.

A classic example is you can't stop a person from being an alcoholic, no matter how people tell them to stop, they will only do this when they decide to do it, a decision they need to make, by themselves.

The same could apply with you, no one can tell you to feel better, it's when YOU want to do something that pleases yourself, such as, you can't be told to play golf when you have no inclination, you do it when you want to.

If you need to renenergise yourself take a break if that's possible.

Best wishes.


Dear Nikto,

Welcome to our forums. We are pleased you found the strength and focus to write a post about your concerns and confusion with your depression. As you are already experiencing, we are quite a supportive community.

We understand that you are under the care of a mental health team. This is good because mental health professionals can spot things in what we say that we are not aware of. Have you asked your therapist what their thoughts are about why you are feeling so stuck?

We have heard that sometimes, when a person is stuck, there could be a continuing chemical imbalance in the brain which might be helped by adjustment to your meds, whilst other times it might be because the brain doesn't want to think about something. Either way, we suspect this may be a conversation to have with your GP and mental health professionals.

We are always here to listen and support.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.