New here, undiagnosed and reluctant to see a doctor!!

[Happy_Place]

Hello followers,

I came across this forum just this morning, out of sheer desperation. I had been crying all morning and needed to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this.

As far as everyone knows, I'm great. Happy go lucky, a sweet job, a family who loves me a beautiful daughter and caring husband. I smile through my day but feel like I'm living a lie. Am I happy, no, am I overwhelmed, yes, do I feel noticed, important or appreciated, no. It's exhausting...im ALWAYS tired! I have a history of anxiety, I can't even remember when it started but it's been probably close to ten years. I've seen doctors, then put me on a care plan, I see a counsellor for my 5 sessions or whatever it is, they give me medication and I'm on my way. This was the case a few years ago now, I was in denial but it was the deal I made with my husband so we could start a family, but looking back (I was so young) I'm not finished.. My issues remain un resolved. I went to my gp prob 3 months ago and gently touched on it again and asked about another care plan (I simply cannot afford $150 a week/session to see someone) and see sent me home with the k10, so of course, I felt like she didn't take me seriously and I never went back. I pulled that k10 out this morning and did it, it told me I was high and suggested I see a doctor. I'm really struggling with that first step. I've been minimising my feelings and mental health for so long, that I can't even be completely open with a doctor. I want help, I want a better life, I forget how it feels to be happy and content. What do I say to a doctor, how do I take that first agonising, scary step??

[Hope_for_the_best]

Firstly, please be reassured that you are not the only one who feels the way you do. I have relatives with depression, so I can relate to that.

If you want a better life and feel happy and content again, you really have to see a doctor. Since you mentioned that you went to doctors for mental health before, it would be very helpful to recall how you first brought up your issues to them. If you don't feel comfortable with talking, simply show your current K10 result to the doctor. She will know you are depressed straight away and get you on treatment.

Get well soon!

[Happy_Place]

Thanks for you reply hope for the best.

Depression is a funny thing. It drags you down and in my instance, makes me feel like I'm going crazy and that no one "gets me" I know I'm not alone in my situation, when I really think about it, I know that there are people out there who suffer the same but sometimes you just need to hear it, and to hear others sorties to make you feel connected, like there's hope.. I suppose.

I think it's taken me so long to see a doctor for a few reasons, I have a fear that no one will believe me, but in turn also feel like I'm just being dramatic. I've been told so often that I'm over sensitive, obsessive, take things to heart ect, that I wonder if it's just me and what's the point. I need to focus on yesterday morning and remember how that felt. I have no idea how I've raised issues with gp's in the past, but you make a good point. Hand over my current k10 and tell them it's taken so long because I have trouble taking the first step. The fear of dismissal is real, the fear of acknowledgement of my problems, the fear of changing (what if I'm not loved anymore) anyway.. All par for the course I suppose.

[Hope_for_the_best]

Nowadays, doctors are more aware of mental health problems and they will take your K10 result very seriously. That says, it may still take a few attempts before you find the most suitable doctor, i.e. one that you feel comfortable with discussing depression. I would suggest you going to a GP that is available by appointments only. Book in a long appointment to get a quality consultation. Some GPs see walk-in patients along with pre-booked appointments. The long patient list unavoidably affects the quality of consultation.

[Sunflowerrs]

I can totally relate 😞
I felt so anxious goign to see a doctor, it helped me to just be really honest and say im really anxious about being here and even just talking about it. I found that they knew how to make me feel at ease. even the nurses/recpetionists i tell them im feeling really anxious, and they take me to an isolated room instead of the waiting room. I just find doctors and medical professionals know how to deal with that kind of stuff and how to help you feel a little more comfortable... hope it goes okay